Just People

I was a big fan of Lewis when I was a believer. When I became an atheist, I went back over his writings and found so many of his arguments I revered as a believer to be too simplistic.

Having been a non-believer for over a decade now, I have come to once again enjoy his insights. Sure, I think he got a lot of stuff wrong... but he got a lot of stuff right too.

I think the balance comes when we quit thinking of authors, priests, parents, and other authority figures as demi-gods - imparting wisdom from on high. Instead, he was just a guy living through his experiences and sharing them. Find the nuggets and shrug at the rest. We are all just people trying "to get through this thing called life."

No Fear

One of the retorts I often get from a fundamentalist/nationalistic believer when they learn that I am an atheist is, "What if you are wrong? What if when you die, you meet God?"

They expect that I would dread such a moment. But that isn't the case at all. I think it would be cool.

See, they have imagined a petulant and capricious god. One who needs its ego stroked and surrounds itself with sycophants. They expect their god to be just like them.

I would expect to meet a deity who is better than the best humans I have known and read about.

I take their scriptures more seriously than they do. Within those pages we read that God is Love.

There is no fear in Love.

Life

In the play, Shadowlands, CS Lewis asks one of his friends if he is content.  He responds, "I am as I am.  The world is as it is.  Whether I am content with that has very little to do with it."

His friend is a bit of a cynic, so it comes off that way in the play but I find myself hearing a certain amount of Zen in that statement.  I never want to become a cynic, but I find accepting that life is going to do what it is going to do helpful.

Question Your Script

 

I started watching Game of Thrones again with my brothers down in Florida. Like every incredible piece of art, you get something different on each visit. This round Arya Stark has stood out to me. Walter Brueggemann says that we all live by a script that is imparted to us as we grow up and that script is based on the narrative of our culture.

Arya examined the script she had been given and decided to question it. She began to discard and free herself from the parts she didn't accept.

Wisdom. 

Anticipation and Dread

A new school year always fills me with anticipation and dread.  The dread part comes from wondering what new whatever the state is going to throw on my plate.  Track this new data strand.  Start doing this new assessment monthly.  Attend these new meetings/classes.  Here's a new program to add to the old program, etc.

What NEVER happens is, "Because you are doing this new thing, you no longer have to do that old thing."  Rarely does anything on our plate get officially removed.  We just squeeze.

Sometimes things whither on the vine.  That thing we had to do because it was the political hot topic at the moment loses priority with a fickle legislature... and it gets less of my time each year until it disappears.

Do I want to add gardening to our class day?  Sure, why not?  Throw it on the pile, we'll get to it.

Something Larger than Ourselves

There is a scene in Game of Thrones where the followers of the Lord of Light are trying to get Sandor Clegane to join them.  They attempt to woo him with thoughts of being part of something greater than yourself.  He replies, "Lots of horrible shit gets done in this world for something larger than ourselves." 

Nowadays, I am hesitant to formally align myself with various groups or causes.  I spent a lifetime in my religion serving "something larger" than myself and encouraging others to join me.  I regret that during that time, though there were good things too, I said and did a lot of "horrible shit".

Be skeptical, question motives, keep your eyes open.

Sticky Wicket

The Bible is a bit of a sticky wicket... if you are going to take it literally.  Are the kids in Oklahoma going to get lessons that include how many children "God" killed?  Cause that number is pretty prodigious.  It could be quite a math assignment to work on calculating that number.

I know, I know.  That's the OLD TESTAMENT... but God is so much nicer in the New Testament.  It's all about LOVE now, right?

Not really.  In the Old Testament, you just died... but in the New Testament, we are introduced to the concept of ETERNAL torture.  You don't get to die.  "God" will keep reanimating your ass so the suffering never ends.

Seriously, when it comes to rape, gore, death, and blood... the Bible would fit in seamlessly with a season of Game of Thrones.

Examine Your Script

"Everybody lives by a script. The script may be implicit or explicit. It may be recognized or unrecognized, but everybody has a script.

We get scripted. All of us get scripted through the process of nurture and formation and socialization, and it happens to us without our knowing it." 
 ~ Walter Brueggemann

Examine your script.  

Dig-in to your programming.  

We have been conditioned and we default to that conditioning unless we hold it up to the light of examination.

Grow.

Bibles in Oklahoma Classrooms?

In the end, I don't think there really will be any state-sanctioned Bible curriculum for the schools in Oklahoma or in any other state.  This is just a publicity stunt to throw out some red meat to the mob.

Even among fundamentalists, there will be too much division.  They can unite when facing a common enemy, but when left in a room by themselves they will never agree.  It's in their nature to be divisive.  

People often ask me if I lost a lot of my believing friends when I became an atheist.  In actuality, the exodus of friends happened WAY before I got to atheism.  I went through years of developing a more loving view of God... that was what got me the heave-ho.  Just removing Hell from your theology will make you persona non grata in many Christian circles.

For example, one of my friends approached me after church one day.  He heard that I had this crazy idea that Jesus saved everyone and wanted to hear it from me.  I was very excited about where my theology was heading and was happy to share.  A few sentences into my explanation I saw his eyes going wide and a scowl forming on his face.  He threw up his hands as if defending himself, took a few quick steps back, turned and walked away.  He never talked to me again.  I lost count of how many times that kind of scenario played out during those years.

I wrote an article titled "Christian... but tainted" on my blog while I was still very Christian and attending church. In it, I tell the story of a woman in my church who wanted me removed from teaching Sunday school because I held views she did not agree with.  I may be wrong, but I just don't think these folks will ever be able to agree on HOW the Bible would be taught in schools.

Religious Liberty?

I believe in religious liberty.  If you want to worship one god or a pantheon, you should be able to do that in peace.

As a teacher, I believe in neutrality.  I want every student and their family to feel supported by me regardless of their household faith.  I feel the best way to do that is to keep my own cards close to the vest.

But...

If you force me to pick up a Bible in my classroom... 

Understand, Christian Nationalist, I know your Bible better than you do.  In your churches, Bible studies, and Sunday schools, you have been given a carefully curated version of scripture.  There are 31,000 verses in the Bible but only a small fraction of those are ever read from the pulpit.  You are used to your scriptures being read in a devotional manner.  They are presented in a way to support your narrative.

But outside the four walls of your sanctuary, the Bible is read critically.  It is no longer read through your filter.  We start reading stories about a sensitive deity who slaughters kids because his prophet was teased for his male-pattern baldness.  You encounter a God who insists on human sacrifice before he will bless the harvest.

Using political power to force-feed your scriptures outside your church may cause you to reap the whirlwind.

The New American Faith

Reading scripture should disturb you.  Whenever I meet a Christian believer who is not struggling with their view of God, I can be confident that:

A. They have made peace with the Bible being a human product.

B. They do not actively read their bible or they read their bible through the filter of their church.

Whenever a believer tells me that the solution to my lack of belief is to read the Bible, I have to suppress a chuckle.  

I have read it.  Memorized whole books of it that still come flooding back to me with the right trigger.

I am fully aware of the twisted behavior of Yahweh in the scriptures. Behaviors that only get a pass because he is "God".  Otherwise, any right-thinking person would be horrified.

Of course, I am an old-school protestant atheist.  I like to dig into the nuts and bolts of theology and scripture.

But the new faith in America is a mere totem.  It has no systematic theology.  Faith only exists as a buttress to politics.  When I go to the social media pages of folks of my former evangelical tribe, they are not talking about Jesus.  They are raging against immigrants crossing the border.  They are calling on the names of their media hosts to inform and save them.  They post about all of their political fears and enemies.  They want Barabbas, not Jesus.

I don't think most folks claiming the name Christian nowadays would have any interest in discussing the moral implications of Romans 9.  They have a 2nd amendment rally to attend.

Once More With Feeling

I wrote this on the day my latest play closed back in May -

Here it is.  The day of our last show.

The cast and crew headed out to IHOP after the show last night for some good conversation.  As we were leaving, someone mentioned that we shall do the show “once more!”  Years of Bible Quizzing have conditioned me to reference keywords.  My mind instantly connected with a song by Crumbacher from 1988 and I responded to no one in particular, “with feeling.”

I asked Alexa to play the song for me on the way home… and I was a kid again, using my dual cassette deck to throw that song on a mix tape.

This morning, the song hasn’t left me.  I found myself listening to it out on my run. It is a Christian song back from an era when I was an enthusiastic evangelical.  But, I still get something from it.  There is a scene in MASH where someone said something off-color in the operating room.  Realizing Father Mulcahy was standing there, he apologized.  Mulcahy smiles, “I just translate things like that into Latin. Makes them sound noble.”  I do that with some of my faith-based music.  I translate some of the non-ecumenical stuff into something more universal.

As I ran, I thought of tonight while the song played-

“So with every ounce of strength I’m saving the best until the end, once more with feeling…”

The longer I ran though, the more I realized those words weren’t just about the show ending.

This is about my life going forward.  Nothing is static and the center does not hold.

What do I want next?

Whatever it is, it's going to be "the best".

I don’t believe the universe is conscious.  There is just you and me.

But, in case anyone is listening -

“with every ounce of strength I'm saving 

the best until the end

Once more with feeling,

and once more by your hand

And like a tune that's never fading, 

play through me again

Once more

with feeling”

It's All About Behavior

I posted a verse on Facebook from the book of James where the writer makes clear that if you want to be “saved” stop talking about your beliefs and do something worthwhile for others.

In my faith heritage, we were the direct opposite.  It was ALL about belief.

I think part of the problem is that the word “saved” is all tied in with Heaven and Hell theology.  But I don’t think that was even on the mind of the writer of James.  As I read through it all again… it is behavior, behavior, behavior.

He wasn’t trying to get anyone a Heavenly gates ticket… he was trying to get them to be good humans (at least as far as he understood it).

John the Baptist was doing the same thing.  When people came to him asking, “What should we do?”  He didn’t give them a list of postulates to believe… he told them how to behave.

“The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same.”

Tax Collectors? “Don’t collect any more than you are required to,” he told them.

Law enforcement? “Don’t extort money and don’t accuse people falsely.”

Not too long after John’s proclamations, Jesus went on to tell all the folks who thought they had the “god-thing” in the bag that it was actually all the outsiders who were entering the Kingdom ahead of them.  Why?  Because the outsiders were about the practice of being GOOD HUMANS.  

I know the bible has plenty of not-so-great bits… pretty awful bits honestly… but it was written by a lot of different folks.  In its best moments though, it calls us to be good humans.

I don’t hold any supernatural beliefs.  I am not trying to get out of Hell or into any Heaven. But I really want to be a good human.  I think it is in that space that Jesus, John, James, and I could have a conversation.

Save Your Soul

 The prophet Micah didn't know anything about Heaven and Hell.  It wasn't part of the Old Testament framework.

Yet, he went on to define what was good.  This is interesting to me because in my  Evangelical faith heritage, we didn't really talk about being good... we talked about having faith.  Pretty much the only time the word good came up was to remind us that nobody was any good.

So why did Micah tell people how to be good?

He wanted to save their souls.

Not some wispy energy that lives on after mortal life.

He wanted your heart and mind to be whole in this life.  For your benefit and the benefit of others.

How did he say to be good?

Act justly, love mercy, walk humbly.

Sounds like a good way to save my soul.

Patriotism

I think it depends on how one is using the word.

I am proud of my school and want it to succeed.  But I have felt that way about every school I have worked at.

I love my neighborhood and I felt that way about my previous one.

I didn't become anti-Michigan when I moved from there to Utah.

I can love Utah while also recognizing the areas where it needs to do better.

When people view their country with religious zealotry and lack the ability to view it with a critical eye, that is a problem.

We need to have a collaborative mindset, not a competitive one.

Don't Assume

Here's the thing - Biden is a centrist.  Conservative, shock-jock, media has Grandpa and your crazy uncle from Thanksgiving thinking he is the Uber-Liberal... but he is a centrist.  Just a hip-bump to the Right and he could comfortably reside in former GOP territory.

Trump isn't even a conservative... he is just a walking @#$%-you to liberals (who, again, aren't as liberal as MAGA imagines, they just have 24hr media telling them so).

I say that because I believe the reason most conservatives hate Biden so strongly (Let's Go Brandon!) is because he is the guy who opposes their candidate.  It wouldn't matter WHO it was, their reaction would be the same.

One might assume my hatred of Trump is based on a similar response... but then one would be wrong.  My hatred of Trump started long before he ran for president, long before he was saying crazy things about Obama, long before his attacks on the Central Park 5.  

In my twenties, I was buried neck-deep in religious patriarchy.  I had a knuckle-dragging view toward women and I was a classic homophobe.  Yet, when I clicked through cable one evening and watched Trump interviewed by Howard Stern on E! television I thought, "This man is a pig!"

I wasn't just conservative at the time, I was a fundamentalist... and even then, there was something in me that knew that Trump was a contemptible human being.

This is why I don't buy the argument made by many religious folks that they HAVE to vote for Trump because Biden is so much worse.

No.  Not even the same category.

At the end of the day, Biden is a pretty run-of-the-mill president.  If he weren't president, there wouldn't be much about him that stands out.

However, Trump would be an example of a failed human even if he never had political aspirations.

So, Trump-supporter, before you assume my dislike of Trump mirrors your dislike of Biden... no... mine goes much deeper.

Reading is a Worthy Use of Time

I wrote this observation during a 3 week vacation in Mazatlan -

I am going to spend a chunk of today reading the book The Enchanted April, which was the play I was just in. I have done a lot of exercising and put in way more steps in a day than I typically do and I have gotten a lot of sun... So I'm going to have a rest day. 

It occurs to me that I can count on one hand the amount of physical books I have read this year. I used to be someone who devoured physical books left and right. However, in the past few years I have found that I multitask. I listen to a book while I clean the backyard. I put on a podcast while I organize the basement. I stream something while I do the dishes. I have fallen into the habit and the mindset that just sitting and reading alone was somehow a waste of time. Even as I sat down here on the patio to read this book, I felt that I should be out doing something. Seeing the city, going for a walk, visiting someplace I haven't been before. I stopped myself realizing how backward this thinking is. 

In the book and play, the Enchanted April, two women feel guilty about wanting to take a vacation. They feel there should be more effective use of their time and money. Of course, they overcome this and have a life-changing experience. 

I don't know if I can blame this on my time in Evangelicalism, but there definitely was a message of "redeeming the time". Guilt was commonplace, particularly for anything that was self-indulgent.

So, I'm going to try to just sit on this patio and do nothing but read.

Winter Is Coming

People have some collective amnesia about Trump's term in office. If he gets a second term, it will be like the end of his first term, not the beginning. At the beginning of Trump's first term, he was careful. He brought in people in various areas who would be acceptable. We used to say that there were still adults in the room. 

Toward the end of his term, he had gone through a lot of folks. He had learned that his followers didn't care who he brought in, so loyalty became the test for anyone new.

Think of his choice of Mike Pence. Whatever else you may think of him, he was qualified. He fit the bill of what Trump thought he needed someone in that position to be like.  But in the end, Pence showed loyalty to the Constitution and the rule of law. This didn't make Trump happy. He won't be making those mistakes in term two.  When he selects people this time, the only qualification he is going to be looking for is loyalty to him. 

Democrat, Republican, or independent - that attitude alone should chill us.

Time To Study

I am working on memorizing my lines this morning for a play I will be in soon.  Some of my scenes are now at a point of being “thought perfect” as we used to call it in my bible quizzing days. For example, I just said, “The Bacon-Cateses didn’t invite me for Madame Pompadore.”  It is actually “never invited me”.  

Not that big of a deal, but on stage that kind of flub sets off the lizard part of my brain that starts screaming at me that I made a mistake and it wants to address it… NOW!  It wants to figure out what the actual words should have been.  At which point an internal dialogue starts where I am trying to tell that part of my brain to shut the #$%^ up and that we can deal with this when I am off stage in a few minutes.  I do this while another part of my brain continues with the scene.

One would think that moving beyond thought perfect to word perfect would be enough.  But it isn’t.  You have to go further. I remember watching an interview with the music artist Mylon Lefevre.  He talked about rehearsing beyond getting it right to the point where it is difficult to get it wrong.

I love every part of a show- the rehearsing, the conversations, getting to know the cast, setting up, the production… but not the memorizing.  It gets so tedious.  I get to the point I would rather do ANYTHING than pick up that script again.

But this is a life lesson I learn again and again.  Pretty much anything worthwhile requires work.  Be it mental health, physical health, relationships, career building, education… there are parts that just aren’t going to be cookies and rainbows. 

So, if I want the payoff of all of the good times the memorizing is going to produce…

It is time for me to get back to my script.

What Works In Education?

I remember a study I read in grad school about which teaching methods were the most successful with students. The conclusion? Whatever method the teacher was most excited about.

States and districts are all about the latest gimmick method. They see a teacher or a district have some success with method X... and now they want everyone to replicate it.

The reality is this: if I have some success with an approach, that doesn't mean it will work for anyone else. It probably won't even work very long for me. What is working presently is something that can't be defined on a spreadsheet or within a bullet point. It is a mix of chemistry, personality, and creativity... that works in THIS moment, with THIS class, and THIS teacher, in THIS setting. Look at it too closely... and it's gone

Love Is God

I have a few Evangelical ties on Facebook and in real life. So, at least once a week, I see Evangelicals' favorite verse.

"Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but by me." John 14:6

There are thousands of verses that most Evangelicals have never even read... but this one gets put on T-Shirts, bumper stickers, mugs... you name it.

Evangelicals love it because it is so damn exclusive. Jesus tended to be fairly inclusive, so Evangelicals have to step around and ignore a lot of his sayings. Not this one though. This one they cling to like a rope tossed to a drowning man.

This verse did cause me some consternation during the last years of my faith... it was so un-Jesus. Couldn't he see how those words would be weaponized?

Of course, who knows if he even said it... but let me put on my Christian hat for a second and state that he did. Take it a step further and let's say he was divine and liked to layer things up a bit for those paying attention.

There is a mathematical axiom that states – If A=B and B=C then A=C.  This is called the Transitive Property.  According to this property, A, B, and C are completely interchangeable.

1 John 4:7-8 says, “Beloved let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

Notice, it is not that God tries to love or desires to love… it is who and what he is.  ANYONE who loves knows God and is born of him.

God likes math, so let’s use that Transitive Property: God=Love, Jesus=God, Love=Jesus.

Let’s look at that seemingly exclusive verse again.

“Jesus said, “Love is THE WAY, Love is THE TRUTH, Love is THE LIFE.  No one comes to the Father but through Love.”

Now that verse syncs up with 1 John 4… and can no longer be weaponized.  Everyone has access to God through Love.

🙂

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

How To Lose An Ally

"That's the difference between the Democratic and the Republican Party - Democrats are hostage to their crazy minority and Republicans are hostage to their crazy majority." ~ Bret Stephens

I often say that Democrats and liberals have a talent for turning allies into enemies.  The slightest deviance from whatever is the accepted orthodoxy of the moment can get a politician or leader in more hot water than they care to deal with.

I re-read a conversation that occurred on a friend's page last year where this was happening.  Issues of sexuality and gender were being discussed and I would guess that nearly everyone in the thread felt roughly the same way in terms of rights for everyone.  There was one person though who felt a lot of frustration with any variance away from her "pure" view... and that was translating into her doling out some pretty harsh rhetoric.  People who should have been allies were in her crosshairs and she did not question pulling the trigger.

I have met a lot of liberals like her over the years... and I am pretty sure they may have motivated as many folks to MAGA rallies as the orange buffoon himself.

Anyway, here was what I wrote at the time... and I still feel this way.  And no, in her estimation, I am just part of the problem.

"Amy I think you are expecting too much from people.

I teach math.  Have you ever tried to do math in a different number system?  It's kinda crazy.  We have done math our whole lives in base 10... probably because we have 10 digits on our hands.  If we had 12, all of our math would probably be done in base 12.

So, for example, in base 3 math 1+2=10.  That's cause the odometer spins after 2 instead of 9.  Get a bunch of adults trying to do math in base 3 and you will see them counting on their fingers to do the simplest equations.  They have been functioning under base 10 all their lives.  Their brains are literally wired for it.

I know "how" to do math in other number systems... but it still feels awkward and I have to REALLY think about it.  It never comes natural.

In the same way, people have been brought up to perceive gender in a certain way... their WHOLE lives...  Then someone explains that, actually, there is a whole new mathematical approach.  It is probably never going to be as 2nd nature to them as it is to you... even if they are trying.

I mentally assent to all of the issues regarding sexuality and gender... but I can't say I "get" them.  I can do the math... but I really have to pay attention.  It can be a little exhausting when people resent me when it does not come as naturally for me as it does for them... as I am sure it is exhausting when they have to re-explain something that, to them, is as clear as day.

My kids are much more "fluent" with trans issues.  I will probably always feel a bit like a right-hander throwing left-handed.

We all want to be heard and we all want to be understood... but I don't think we can demand that of others.  We can demand equal treatment under the law.  We can expect to be treated civilly.  I think though, to describe someone who does not "get" me as "despising" me is not helpful, nor is it accurate."

Historical Jesus?

Someone asked me if I believed in a historical Jesus-

"I think there probably was a Jesus... but everything we know of him is 2nd hand, generations later, motivated retells. So, I take the stories for what they are and what they say... and don't worry too much when Jesus contradicts himself or the Pauline epistles head in different directions.

In the end, those who scream most loudly about the Bible being the "Word of God" usually have a very thin knowledge of how it came about or what it contains. In my sect, Evangelicals, we would regurgitate the same 500 verses annually, while pretty much ignoring the other 30,000.

Ultimately, I think most folks find the Jesus they want in the Bible. I have friends of all different economic, social, and political persuasions... and funny enough, all of them quote Jesus and claim to be followers. Jesus has many faces."

Abraham Failed the Test

I wrote this in a discussion about Abraham and Issac 10 years ago-

First, I don't think the event actually happened... It is a moral fable which a nomadic people told to make a point. If you get emotionally invested in it being real, you will probably miss the author's intended point... as you would if you felt Apollo was the negligent party with Asclepius by letting him drive the chariot in the first place.

But let's assume it all happened as it is written. First, we may error in assuming Abraham viewed Isaac the way modern parents view their children. Abraham most likely viewed Isaac as his most treasured possession... but still a possession. If it came down to it, he would save his own rear end before he would save Issac; in the same way any of us would sacrifice any possession we have to save our own skin.

However, I would look at it this way. What if the god Jehovah really wanted Abraham to say no? He is the most powerful being in the universe... he always gets what he wants... but he has no equal, so he lacks relationships. Here he is trying to forge one with his creation... but he can't get around his... imposing personality. He can't help but feel his relationship with Abraham isn't really a friendship... and it was proved that day. He had Abraham's obedience but that is a poor substitute for friendship.  He knows Abraham fears him... and this leaves him disappointed. 

God was like the bully of the playground who one day realizes that he has a big posse but no friends. He is surrounded by sycophants and those who are afraid of him. What he yearned for was for Abraham to say no. That is what friends do... sometimes they help protect us from ourselves. A true friend would never acquiesce to such a demand.

I don't think Abraham passed the test that day. He failed his son, and he failed the god who wanted to be his friend.

Conservative Faith Can Never Bring Peace

"'People kill for money or for power,' DeMello's Holy One teaches. 'But the most ruthless murderers are those who kill for their ideas.' It is not belief that causes war, it is believers who refuse to allow others to hold ideas other than their own." - Joan Chittister

This is why when you look through history, there are not examples of successful conservative religious societies.  They cannot tolerate other religions.  There is no peaceful coexistence.  Even if all are converted to the same faith, the orthodox will discover heretics.  Conservative religion despises, yet needs, the 'other'.

In my last years as a Christian, I had taken to announcing questions and conclusions I was coming to regarding my faith.  On one occasion, I got a retort on FB from one of my pastors.

Me: I believe Christianity competes with other religions, and that is a mistake.

Pastor:  REALLY? Jesus said, “go and make disciples of every nation.” Guess what his disciples did. They went out and made disciples of Jews, Gentiles, Idol worshippers, and people of all religions. That’s not competition, that’s obedience to Jesus. We Christians still follow Jesus’ commands, whether you think that is a mistake or not.

Our church was not a particularly heavy-handed conservative fellowship but showing an aversion to conversion was enough to categorize me outside the faith.  

There is no peace in conservative faith while unbelievers and folks of other religions remain.  Presently, "obedience to Jesus" when converting others is not violent but it has not always been so.  We can look around the world at conservative religions and see that they don't play well with others.  

I don't suspect America's conservative faithful would fare any better should they acquire real power.  Remember this, moderate believer, when you assume that voting for a conservative Christian is a good thing.  History and present-day global examples tell us otherwise.  There are legions of Christians in America who would use the force of law to make you obedient to their vision of 'Jesus'.