The Triggers Triggered Me

I recently left a Facebook group.

I am in a few on various topics.

This one was about having deconverted from Evangelicalism.

This group was highly into trigger warnings. Lots of posts were just listing the triggers... and then what the post actually was about was nested down in the comments... which usually had to be sifted through to find the original post.

Anyway, after having been scolded a 2nd time for not having the proper trigger warnings listed for what I wanted to talk about... I just decided I was too lazy and this was too much work. So I left.

Not one of those big dramatic leavings where you post about all the reasons you are leaving and give everyone a piece of your mind.

I just clicked the button.

I enjoyed hearing people's exit stories and I like talking about similar experiences in some of the crazy church life that we all lived through.

But...

My goal has always been to make that stuff a memory. Something to talk about... that happened in the past. Get a good laugh and an eyeroll.

However, I started to notice that a lot of people like to keep this stuff present. If some believer isn't being overtly insensitive, they will contrive ways to imagine they were insensitive. Their identity is caught up in the trama that they experienced. They almost don't seem to want to make it their past.

Which is where some people are at... and you do what you need... but it isn't where I am at.

I am a walking trigger. I want to talk about everything and anything. And I am old now, so if I have to list all the topics I want to talk about before I talk about them and then scroll down and put my funny meme in the comments section... that is just too much for me to keep straight... so I am going to go talk somewhere else now.

Make A Stand

 Interesting to read over some of the quotes from Republican representatives today.  There were lots of condemnations of Democrats... but I have yet to read defenses of Trump.

Not one got up to say that Trump would simply NEVER use his office for his own purposes.  That a lifetime of solid character stands in opposition to such accusations.

They know.

I just left the page of a religious friend and he and his fellow believers have lots to say about team loyalty and there is line after line of whataboutism.  They talk about how the horrible Democrats are handing Trump 2020... but again, no actual defense of Trump.

Simply put, they can't appeal to Trump's character... he doesn't have any.  They can't point to Trump's moral life... he has never had one.  They can't direct you to Trump's long-suffering, goodness, gentleness, faith, or self-control... because these are all void in his life.

Yet, they want to switch hats when they tell you about their religion.  Discuss faith, and suddenly things like morality matter.  They want YOU to have character and goodness... but they don't have those expectations of their leader.  Somewhere along the way, they lost faith in these ideals.  They want to win... and they have been convinced that good guys finish last.

One of my favorite scenes in Endgame is during the last battle. Everyone is down and Thanos has beaten Cap nearly senseless.  Cap pulls himself to his feet and sees the armies of Thanos bearing down on him.  He sighs, tightens his broken shield on his arm and begins limping toward them.  He intends to go down... making a stand.

In a similar scene at the end of Voyage of the Dawn Treader,  Reepicheep announces his determination to find the home of Aslan beyond the sun-

"My own plans are made. While I can, I sail east in the Dawn Treader. When she fails me, I paddle east in my coracle. When she sinks, I shall swim east with my four paws. And when I can swim no longer, if I have not reached Aslan’s country...I shall sink with my nose to the sunrise.”

The unfortunate truth is, the good person often does finish last.  But goodness and character have never been about winning.  Their value is self-contained and worth the pursuit for their own sake.

I hope my conservative religious friends can find their way back to that hopeful pursuit.

Lapse of Judgment?

SAVANNAH, Ga. -- The man who appeared to slap a reporter on her backside while she was live on the air is now facing charges.

Thomas Callaway was arrested Friday and charged with sexual battery, WSAV reported.

As he should be.

I have heard and read many people saying that this is not worth prosecution. It was a momentary lapse of judgment. He should be able to apologize and have everyone move on.

No.

Just No.

First, I don't believe it was a lapse in judgment. I had a lapse in judgment last night during a play I was in. There is this scene when I am part of a parade and we throw candy into the audience. Just once and it is clear we are doing so. At the end of the song I still had some candy (usually I am out). At the last moment, I decided to throw my remaining candy into the audience.

Dumb.

No one was expecting it this time and they cut the lights just as I threw it. Fortunately, everyone survived.

I also accidentally cut someone off today. I didn't check my blind spot as well as I should have. The driver was rightly annoyed with me.

These are lapses of judgment.

I would never have a lapse of judgment regarding smacking a woman's behind because that is not within the realms of possibility for me. There is never a moment when I am at the crossroads of that decision.

How many women could tell tales of how often they have been on the receiving end of this "lapse of judgment"?

Until we quit winking at this behavior, until we stop shrugging it off as no big deal... in other words, until we start prosecuting, we can expect this behavior to continue.

It needs to stop.

Four More Years of Trump

We will have Trump for four more years.

And we may get worse after that.

I don't want to be a pessimist... but I just think that is where we are at the moment.

Many Americans simply have no interest in being good, doing right... they just want to WIN (whatever that means).

There is a post going around again at the moment... the one where "Andy Rooney" or "Paul Harvey" (it varies as to authorship) talks about how Christians aren't going to "take it" anymore. They are going to fight to make everyone pray in schools and so forth because this is a "Christian Nation". Love it or leave it.

I wrote a response, which I have been pasting in anytime I see this piece. It says -

"But no one is asking you not to pray... pray away. We are just asking that you don't grab the microphone and put it over the loudspeaker.

If I am not mistaken, Jesus was all for that idea.

If I go to a believer's home and they desire to pray over a meal, I will sit quietly while they do so. It is their home.

When they come to my house, they are welcome to pray quietly over their meal. I don't mind.

However, when it comes to government and schools, I am not ok with someone grabbing the mic and praying for the reasons I listed above. When a Christian grabs the mic at a school football game, they are saying it is THEIR home... and I am just a guest.

But no, it is not their home... and it is not my home. It is our home. We both have every right to be here... and I will not be made to feel like a visitor in my own home.

I think most people, theists and non-theists, can get along fairly well... we just need to respect reasonable boundaries."

I got this reply yesterday -

"Andrew Hackman phuck off...if I have access to the mic and you don't...poor baby!
You damn Snowflakes-R-Us minions think being offended is somehow a crime.
News Flash: this is a Christian based nation and here you are...deal with it."

To varying degrees, that is where a lot of America is today. This person has no interest in fairness, understanding, empathy, discussion. He wants to win and he wants you to lose. There is so little thought in his worldview that he is viciously standing up for his "Christian Nation"... with behavior Jesus would rebuke.

Trump didn't happen by accident. He reflects America. Until we change that, "Trump" will be our consequence.