Once More With Feeling

I wrote this on the day my latest play closed back in May -

Here it is.  The day of our last show.

The cast and crew headed out to IHOP after the show last night for some good conversation.  As we were leaving, someone mentioned that we shall do the show “once more!”  Years of Bible Quizzing have conditioned me to reference keywords.  My mind instantly connected with a song by Crumbacher from 1988 and I responded to no one in particular, “with feeling.”

I asked Alexa to play the song for me on the way home… and I was a kid again, using my dual cassette deck to throw that song on a mix tape.

This morning, the song hasn’t left me.  I found myself listening to it out on my run. It is a Christian song back from an era when I was an enthusiastic evangelical.  But, I still get something from it.  There is a scene in MASH where someone said something off-color in the operating room.  Realizing Father Mulcahy was standing there, he apologized.  Mulcahy smiles, “I just translate things like that into Latin. Makes them sound noble.”  I do that with some of my faith-based music.  I translate some of the non-ecumenical stuff into something more universal.

As I ran, I thought of tonight while the song played-

“So with every ounce of strength I’m saving the best until the end, once more with feeling…”

The longer I ran though, the more I realized those words weren’t just about the show ending.

This is about my life going forward.  Nothing is static and the center does not hold.

What do I want next?

Whatever it is, it's going to be "the best".

I don’t believe the universe is conscious.  There is just you and me.

But, in case anyone is listening -

“with every ounce of strength I'm saving 

the best until the end

Once more with feeling,

and once more by your hand

And like a tune that's never fading, 

play through me again

Once more

with feeling”