Ya Did Good 2022!

Looking back, 2022 was an AWESOME year!  After the doldrums, stress, and tragedy of the pandemic, it was great to have a year where pretty much everything went right (minus a bout with kidney stones).

Started the year with a Ghost/Volbeat concert!  Hit a lot of movies, played disc golf.  Mary Lee got teacher of the year at her campus.

Got to see Sponge in March.

Joined my brother to visit my mom in Florida and had a great time with my cousins!

Saw Jesus Christ Superstar.

Wrapped up my 30th year of teaching then drove out to Cali to see a reunion concert of one of my favorite bands of all time – UNDERCOVER!  It had been about 20 years since I had last seen them.

Then I accompanied ML to a student medical competition in Nashville.  We spent a week at the biggest hotel I have ever seen.  During that week I got to see Lori and Marianne, two of my oldest and dearest friends (somehow, I don’t have one picture of us together… must be on everyone else’s phones).

A week later, after many attempts, I finally made it down to Mazatlán!  Paradise!  A day after that trip, Kathryn and I headed to Vegas to see the legend – Frankie Vallie!

Then my mom came into town and we caught two concerts and saw some wild ski jumping in Park City.

The fam did a guided hike in the mountains toward the end of summer and Jake and I got in some pool time.  I also taught Kathryn to play chess on a giant board.

Then our friends the Merrills took us on a tour of Capitol Reef.  I had been there a number of times before but these spots you can only get to via Bronco.

I got to spend most of September as a character in “The Mousetrap”.  I had so much fun in that show!

Then the wheel of time took a big turn as our darling daughter struck out on her own and moved into an apartment. 

I had never been out to Lake Tahoe before, so I spent fall break there disc golfing.  So beautiful!

The fam spent Thanksgiving in San Diego – we went to the Zoo, the USS Midway, lots of beaches, and plenty of amazing restaurants.

Went with my buds to see Bill Burr… no pictures in the arena… they sealed our phones at the door.

“Coffee Church” has become a Chreaster fellowship, but we still had an excellent Christmas party!

A walk among the lights of Luminaria heightened the holiday spirit.

Finally, our Christmas Eve tradition of hearing the choir at the Cathedral of the Madeline.

Thanks 2022!  Ya did good!

Bring Them To Church?

I read this on Facebook:

"Bring them to church‼️‼️ Saturate their lives with the Word of God. Even if they lay on the floor. Even if they need 437 goldfish and a sucker to be quiet. Even if you stand in the back swaying back and forth holding them. Even when it’s hard. Even when your row looks like a small hurricane just came through. Bring them to church. Let them see you worship. Let them see you pray. Let them see you running toward the Savior ... because if they don’t see and learn these things from you, who are they going to learn them from? 

The world will teach them it’s not a priority. The world will teach them it’s okay to lay out, not to pick up their Bibles. The world will direct them so far off course, confuse them, and misinform them that just being “good” is enough. The world won’t teach them about Jesus. That’s our job. 

Bring them to church‼️‼️"

Oh... the messages of conservative/fundie Christianity. 🤢🤢🤮  When they start using the phrase "the world" as a pejorative, you know you are about to enter a dark episode of the Twilight Zone.

"The world will direct them so far off course, confuse them, and misinform them that just being “good” is enough."

There is so much wrong with this sentence... and it sits at the core of the unhealthiness of this form of Christianity.

First, it is an invitation to a lifelong mental hampster wheel.  Jesus said that his yoke is easy and his burden light... but this perspective is anything but.  It keeps the believer in a perpetual state of feeling they don't measure up, that they have never done enough, and even what they have done is somehow tainted.

Second, it makes "good" suspect.  A believer of this stripe gets to negate the work of their fellow humans.  In my faith community, the work of great people doing great deeds was routinely brushed aside as having little value.  A life of character formation founded on good behavior and good deeds often gets replaced with vacuous piety. 

Third, the insecurity of never being good enough becomes a bludgeon that leadership uses to keep congregations in line. 

Lastly, it creates a chasm that divides the believer from their neighbors.  Under this thinking, the believer really only feels comfortable around those in their faith- as "the world" (everyone else) will only try to confuse them, misinform them, and direct them off course.  Responding to life this way sets up a vicious circle of behaviors and attitudes in the believer that make them want to separate themselves from their neighbors... and makes their neighbors happy to let them do so.

And then these believing parents encourage one another to drag their children into this.

Going Back To Christianity?

 

The latest podcast from Bart Campolo is an interview with a man who deconverted from the Christian faith only to convert back later.  He refers to his time out of faith as atheism.  

I am always suspicious of this declaration while simultaneously being hesitant to doubt the declaration.  I was a Christian for about 30 years and many Christians interpret my leaving as evidence that I was never one in the first place.  Would I not be doing the same thing to doubt his conclusion?

Perhaps.

Still, I wonder if it is merely a misnaming of an event.

I live in Salt Lake City and I know a number of folks who have deconverted from Mormonism.  However, not all of them became Atheists.  Many ended up in some other Christian denomination.  Others slipped into less definable spiritualities focused on energies, crystals, and auras.  

There is a difference between leaving "A" faith - and leaving faith.  For about a year or so after I left Christianity, I researched other religions.  Yes, I had left Christianity... but I had to be something... right??  My belief in the supernatural and "something else" being out there was not gone.  Even once I had made the mental transition to atheism, it took a while before my heart and the superstitions burned into my psyche were on board.

So, when I listened to Josh's story... I don't hear a once atheist.  I hear a guy who became less than dazzled by his faith... had his 40 days in the wilderness... and then landed in a different version of his faith.  

I suppose people can be atheists and convert back to faith.  

But, more often than not, I think describing one's transition time as "atheism" just adds drama and street cred to the story (whether the teller is intentionally doing so or not).

Why? Why? Why?

 

Piper mentions that non-believers have better "tools" for morality at their disposal... but he doesn't get into it.  I'd be curious about what he thinks those tools are.

One of the things I noticed as I was exiting faith is that I used the word "Why" a lot.

 

Why do I do this?  Why do I think this?  Why, why, why?  

I was like a 5-year-old again.

It occurred to me that I really didn't have much of an ethical system... I just had a bunch of mores that were often particular to my subculture.  Upon inspection, most of them had nothing to do with ethics, and much of my life guilt was completely non-sensical.

In my subculture of Evangelicalism, "morality" was a big deal (not so much in the Trump era), and we talked a good game... but in truth, there was little moral instruction.

Take, for example, a sermon I heard by a popular Evangelical preacher.  He was assuring the congregation there was a Hell and everyone but "the saved" are going there.  He went on to say, "If there is no Hell, I'm going to the strip club tonight!"

This is a common thought line among the religious... if it weren't for the "judgment of god," I would behave completely differently.

That isn't morality... it is obedience.  It is social pressure.  It isn't a true belief in right and wrong - and it collapses fairly easily when challenged.

This is why every other week, another mega-church leader is caught with his hand in the cookie jar.  Jerry Falwell Jr. didn't have an ethical system he lived by, he had social pressures he adhered to.

I often tell my students that they are not being a friend if they allow someone to copy their work.  It is the equivalent of watching someone else exercise and expecting to get fit.  When the moment comes for them to demonstrate their ability with a math problem, they will be unprepared.

Religion often leaves people morally and ethically unprepared... because they have been content to copy someone else's answers to life's important questions.

Behaviors Are Not Age-Related

 

“When we adults think of children, there is a simple truth which we ignore: childhood is not a preparation for life. Childhood IS life. A child isn’t getting ready to live; a child is living. The child is constantly confronted with the nagging question, ‘What are you going to be?’ Courageous would be the youngster who, looking the adult squarely in the face, would say, ‘I’m not going to be anything; I already am."

Professor T. Ripaldi

I teach 2nd grade.  People often talk about "childish behavior".  For example,  I have students who care very deeply about their position in line.  They get aggrieved if folks "butt" them in line yet shrug it off when they do it to someone else.  Sometimes it gets so intense, tears or fists come out.  Although this kind of behavior can be broad-brushed to all children, only about a third behave this way.  Most of my students couldn't care less.

On the other end of the spectrum.  You will often hear people assume all "old folks" think in similar ways.  The comedian Bill Burr does a whole routine about this.  He questions why the family was surprised when Grandma said racist things. 

"They're old!  he jokes.  "What didja think they thought?"  

People often use old age to shrug off racism or homophobia... as if it is just part of being old.  Yet, we all know plenty of old folks who don't hold these attitudes.

I think, as the professor says above, people already are.  Little Johnny may move on from caring about who stands where in line, but that core pettiness will probably just transfer to other things.  Later in life, he may care deeply that he has a better car or house than the person behind him.

Behaviors are not age-related.  One of my students can nurse a grudge for weeks... while another has let an offense go by recess.  They will most likely become adults who carry those same traits. 

The thing is, if we become an old person that is STILL racist or STILL petty or STILL holds grudges, etc... then life passed us by and we didn't do the real work that needed to be done.

Man Finds Former Self Embarassing

I am in season 5 of True Blood... and I am starting to mourn that it will end in two more seasons. I wrote earlier a few weeks ago on Facebook about how much I have been enjoying it... and my perplexion as to why I didn't enjoy this when it first came out in 2008.

It occurred to me the other night.

It's so gay.

By 2008, my conservative faith of 30 years had swung pretty liberal... but I still had a lot of hang-ups. Decades of conditioning do not turn on a dime. If you had asked me at the time, I would have said that I loved and supported the gay community. I probably would have taken umbrage if anyone had suggested otherwise.

However, looking back, I can recognize that gay representation made me uncomfortable. I could view thousands of heterosexual kisses on screen... but two men kissing once would have made me feel that an "agenda" was being "pushed." Do what you want in your own bedroom, but keep it out of the public sphere... after all, will someone think of the children??

Your previous self can be so... embarrassing. Folks don't like to reflect on it (I don't). It took me til Season 5 to put 2 and 2 together as to my initial distaste for the show.

We cringe... so we don't want to remember. We clean up our histories, we gloss over our scriptures, and we don't tell our children about family issues.

I hope MLK was right about the moral arc of the universe. I hope we really are getting better.

Crackers!

I was reading a thread about folks being upset with Cracker Barrel for offering Impossible Meat on their menu.  One comment was essentially, "I just want a restaurant that is normal, with normal food on the menu!"

The thing is... his menu selection was not impacted.  They didn't REPLACE the sausage in his breakfast with Impossible Sausage, it is merely an option now for those who would like it.  He NEVER has to order it.

Yet, its availability to others sticks in his craw.  So much so, he is refusing to go to Cracker Barrel ever again.

To many of us, this is simply insane behavior... but for swaths of Americans, it is the norm.  A good chunk of their voting and candidate selection is based on this frustration. They grind their teeth and clench their fists when people choose items off of life's menu... as if they are being forced to partake as well.

For Me, Not For Thee

A Facebook group I am in is arguing over religious freedoms presently.  Someone had posted a Christian prayer.  Some folks said it was off-topic and perhaps should be posted in a religiously themed group.  Others argued for free speech and religious freedoms.

Here is the part I saw coming a mile off- Shortly after the prayer post, someone posted the Seven Tenets of the Satanic Temple. Predictably, many of the same folks defending the prayer had the dead opposite reaction to the 7 tenets. Comments such as "small-minded", "loser", "grow the phuck up", "shame on you", "disturbing", etc.

I don't know what the real-life percentages are... but in my experience, those who most often shout for religious liberties are usually only doing so for their sub-group.  They have little real interest in religious liberty as a fundamental right... rather, they use it selectively as a shield to protect their interests.

The most perfect example of the 180 people can do came from a person who said,

"To all that criticized the religious post… I mean seriously, couldn’t you just scroll by?"

However, on the Satanic Temple post, she commented,

"You should grow the phuck up, you’re behaving like a spoiled child. Shame on you"

Moving the goal posts is a real and regular thing.

You Terrible Sinner

This is the kind of stuff one regularly gets in a Conservative Christian bible study or Sunday school.  These ideas are routinely preached.  On the last Sunday my family attended church, the pastor made such proclamations from the pulpit.

Who are you... really?  A TERRIBLE sinner.  And yet, God loves you anyway.  You should be so grateful.

Similar things are said by the drunk dude in a ragged t-shirt clutching a belt over a whimpering child.

I used to think of myself as a sinner. I thought of how often I let God down. I believed wrong behavior was my defining characteristic. 

Then I discovered it was all contrived. Once out of the faith, I realized it is massively infrequent when I cause pain or harm to another human being.... in fact, most of my day is spent giving good turns and encouragement to everyone around me.... yet I spent decades believing there was something inherently wrong with me.

I have covered this topic on my blog a few times in the past.  A Christian wrote me, expressing sorrow that this has been my experience in Church.  They told me Jesus loves me and is not the god I had been told about.

I went to their church website and listened to a random sermon.  The pastor went on and on about our sin and that it is only through Jesus that we can become acceptable to God.

Like a battered and bruised woman telling the cops that her husband really does love her, this Christian could not help but declare God innocent - all the while enduring abuse from the pulpit.

Do You Believe In God?

Abraham Piper addresses why, "Do you believe in God?" isn't a great question.

A popular god here in the States is Jesus.  When people ask the above question here, they usually mean him.  However, someone might just as easily mean Vishnu or Thor... and this could affect the answer.

But even if they meant Jesus... does that really help?

I have often argued that the reason Jesus is so popular here in the states is because his name has been franchised.  Catholics, Mormons, Quakers, Evangelicals, liberals, conservatives, and moderates all claim Jesus.

Do you think there are some pretty different visions of Jesus across that spectrum?

My brothers and mom are all believers in Jesus... and just amongst the three of them, there are fairly substantial differences.  If you got their three versions of Jesus together in the same room, you would never mistake them for the same person.

As Mr. Wednesday said in American Gods-

"For every belief, every branch, every denomination... they see a different face when they close their eyes to pray."

Of course, I think Piper is being a little cagey.  The real question being asked is, "Do you believe in MY god?"

For me, that answer is the same regardless of who asks it... no.

BUT, beyond that are questions like what do you prioritize, what do you value, what fills your soul?

People are never going to agree on their gods... but there are a lot of places the Venn diagrams of our lives overlap.

 

@abrahampiper Not believing in *your* god doesn’t make anyone an atheist. 🤷‍♀️ #atheism #god #nonreligious #exchristian #exfundie #exvangelical #philosophy #illogical #logicalfallacy #loadedquestion ♬ original sound - Abraham Piper