Monday, January 02, 2012
However, it never ceases to be comical to me how often the question is founded in chagrin - the questioner is frustrated that I do not seem to find compelling or conceivable a position they have claimed. My choosing a stance that is contrary to the one they cling to, somehow, gets translated as a criticism.
The short answer to the question is no. I really don't consider myself a Christian anymore. Somewhere along the way (to be explained in more detail in a future blog post), I realized that the claims of my religious beliefs had no more inherent validity than anyone else's. Once the light bulb goes on that your group sounds to every other group the way every other group sounds to yours... and that REALLY sinks in... well, it's all up hill from there.
I tried to explain my perspective to a relative recently - that scripture has become to me a sequence of testimonies by people I don't know, having been retold and then copied by people I don't know, in a time with different values than mine. Not that it cannot give valuable perspectives, but it can't help but be hearsay. Given that, it is hard for me to know what to think of God - in 28 years of pursuing him, I've never heard from him.
The response? - Of course you have! It's in the bible!
So where does that leave me now? I could probably be best described as a hopeful agnostic. Sure, I hope we go on. Who wouldn't? But for right now, what concerns me most is impacting my world around me - loving others, making the world a better place for everyone, and giving my life to friends and family.
I read the following quote in the book Good Omens this morning and I laughed out loud. In a way, it captures how I feel about the unknowable reality of God.
God does not play dice with the universe:
He plays an ineffable game of His own devising,
which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody],
to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker
in a pitch-dark room,
with blank cards,
for infinite stakes,
with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules,
and who smiles all the time.
Posted by Andrew at 5:07 PM