Saturday, June 24, 2017
One of the responses made my heart heavy. A gentleman replied:
"Less of me..."It was painful to read because I know that is exactly how I would have answered that question throughout most of the time I was a believer. In conservative Evangelical theology, you are seen as bringing nothing to the table, everything is about what God does. The only thing preventing God from doing his best for you and in you is you. With such a view of one's relationship to the divine, self-disparaging comments become the norm.
Growing up, sermons from the pulpit, bible studies, and song lyrics constantly drove home the message that I was, inherently, the problem. These lines were typical of the Christian bands I listened to as a believer:
"I know how I ought to be. Alive to You and dead to me."
" More of Jesus, less of me."
" I am nothing! So I lay down and cry for mercy."I recently moved my entire music collection over to a USB drive for my car. Even still, most of my music collection is Christian Rock. I tried listening to some old songs as I drove around town. Though I could still enjoy the music, the lyrics tended to be so... depressing, that I just had to turn it off. It was just weird listening to a good tune where the lyrics repeated how awful everyone is.
The above meme was posted by another believing friend of mine. I sigh when I read things like that.
You are not the villain. Happiness will not come from there being less of you.
The answers will not be found in tearing down "you".
What I have discovered since leaving the life of faith a few years back is that happiness and peace develop as I am becoming my best self.
Posted by Andrew at 3:14 PM
Sunday, April 30, 2017
Before you speak, Persian, know that in Sparta everyone, even a king's messenger, is responsible for the words of their voice. Now...what message do you bring?
King Leonidas said these words to the Persian messenger at the beginning of 300. He was reminding the messenger that if he was bringing threats, he had better choose his words carefully.
When I was a believer, I thought of myself like the Persian - the King's messenger. If someone did not like what I was saying, they had problems with God, not me. I would say things similar to what I read on a believer's blog today:
...they are arguing with the wrong person. They shouldn’t be upset and arguing with me; they should be upset and argue with God. He said it. I’m just repeating what He said. I base my beliefs on the Crucified and Risen Lord.This is a common sentiment expressed by believers.
I was reminded of another version of this redirecting of responsibility during a Facebook conversation today. One gentleman argued:
Sorry, I can't agree with Sam Harris. To depend on the "self" to create "conditions of human flourishing" is more dangerous than even his description of religion. What I believe human flourishing is quite different from my neighbor and even light years away from someone in the far east or Africa. Also if it up to the "self" then no one has the right to judge or criticize my renditions.I run into this argument frequently among believers ... if we don't have a god to declare something right or wrong.... then nothing can really be right or wrong. I responded:
Or everyone does, and we all have to justify, weigh, and examine our renditions. In such a case, everyone becomes responsible and has a voice, and no one gets to disengage from their responsibilities by proclaiming "I didn't say that, god did... if you don't like it, take it up with god!"It was empowering, and a little scary, when I first left my faith to realize that I was responsible. My opinions, my actions, my choices.... and their consequences... were all on me. Leaving faith caused me to put all my ideas under a microscope... because I could no longer attribute them to anyone but myself.
Posted by Andrew at 7:10 PM
Saturday, April 08, 2017
Growing up, our community had a lot of thoughts and opinions about the interactions between men and women. Unmarried people were to be guarded and circumspect when it came to time spent with members of the opposite sex. This was talked about and preached about.... a lot. As a young person trying to remain "pure", my goal of following the right path when it came to women bordered on obsessive. An inordinate amount of my thought life was devoted to "not placing anything before my eyes that would cause me to sin before the Lord".
Looking back, I cringe at how damaging this outlook was. It hobbled me relationally. I viewed half the population of our planet as "an occasion to sin". I considered my own biology and sexuality an enemy. There were times when I actually resented women for... existing.
We may, as a Western culture, look down on some Middle Eastern societies that drape their women in varied levels of physical covering- but many religious cultures in America entertain similar notions. The values that led Mike Pence to his conclusions about how to relate to the opposite sex, objectify and relegate women to a lower tier status as surely as any burka.
Posted by Andrew at 8:02 AM
Sunday, February 19, 2017
Then I remembered Google Translate. I pulled out my phone and downloaded the app. I set it to Chinese.
I pressed the button. "Are you sad?" I said.
A moment later it spoke back in Chinese. His eyes widened. I showed him the button to press on my phone. He spoke into it, and a moment later it said "Yes, I am sad."
"Why are you sad?" I asked. My phone translated.
"I lost my gloves during lunch," my phone said aloud after he spoke to it.
I asked what color they were. He pressed the button and spoke.
I announced to the class that we were missing his gloves. My lunch monitor said that after everyone left the table, she saw gloves and put them in our lunch basket. She ran over to it and held up the gloves. My Chinese student lit up and smiled.
For the next 10 minutes, my student and I talked through my phone. We found out each other's favorite colors, how to say good morning, and what our opinions were on snow.
Posted by Andrew at 10:59 AM
Monday, October 24, 2016
Another friend interjected that I was taking that verse out of context (no one ever complains about context when the pleasant stuff is quoted). She provided a link to an article that explained why that verse didn't really say what it seemed to say. I responded:
As I read through that article, it does little to alleviate the severity of that scripture. For me, at the end of the day, there is no context where I am going to watch the stoning of a child and walk away with an explanation that would justify it to me.
I suspect that when a Christian reads a similar scripture in the Koran, an apologetic explanation would carry no further for them either. They would read it and find it horrific, regardless of explanations their Muslim friend might offer them.
I live in the heart of Mormondom. My evangelical friends have dozens of critiques of Mormon scriptures and history – and Mormons have an answer for every one of them (e.g. http://en.fairmormon.org/Joseph_Smith/Polygamy). Do those answers work? For the Mormon, yes… but not for the evangelical.
The function of apologetics is not to change the mind of the unbeliever- it is to quiet the mind of the believer. No matter the religious stripe, a believer will readily accept an explanation that holds zero water for someone outside the faith. Why? Because the believer is already 95% convinced. They just need the assurance that somewhere out there, the question has been asked and answered. With that assurance in mind, they can proceed along the path – calm and content.
It was the same for me back when I was a believer. The shift came when I began to apply the same standards of judgment to my own religion as well as to others. If something was unacceptable for another religion, then it had to be unacceptable for mine. No longer would I use one set of rules for my beliefs and a different set for the belief of the other. Goal posts did not get to change location depending on whose side was being defended.
I encourage everyone to use the same measure for your faith that you do for others. If you are giving your faith a pass, give that same pass to other faiths. If you have a criticism of another faith, use that same scale for your own.
Rather than engaging my thoughts on the article, she replied, "You are an apostate so I expect that from you."
This exchange was a reminder of why I rarely engage these kinds of exchanges anymore. Outside the evangelical sphere I am a father, teacher, friend, husband, actor, singer, writer, etc. Inside the evangelical sphere there is no need to look any further than apostate.
Her shared article served its purpose. It did nothing to change the mind of this unbeliever, but it soothed her believing mind and halted any possible questions right there.
Posted by Andrew at 10:09 AM
Saturday, October 01, 2016
I have become spoiled by podcasts. I am used to listening to hour long conversations, rather than 8 minute segments.
Yesterday, I accidently killed my podcast list within the app and have been slowly rebuilding it over the past 24 hours. Here are my primaries that were added back immediately.
- Skeptics Guide to the Universe - This one is fairly new for me, but has become a favorite. Great science and critical thinking information and discussion - and accessible to a layman like me.
- Nerdist - A deep catalog of conversations with various artists, musicians, actors, etc. My music and movie choices have been expanded due to this show. Did you know Iggy Pop is fascinating to listen to and seems to be a really great guy? My world expanded.
- Real Time - I don't have HBO, but they put the whole show up on Podcast each week. I think Bill has some of the best panels out there.
- Fatman on Batman - I love Kevin Smith. He is a great guy and his enthusiasm for life, comics, and movies is contagious. He also is crazy profane, so it's not for everyone.
- Beyond The Pale - My brother and sister-in-law do a podcast in Hong Kong. It focuses on the more progressive end of Christianity, but also includes plenty of movies, politics, and adult beverages. I have been on their show a number of times and we are talking about doing it again soon when a topic presents itself. Got any ideas?
While I am rebuilding my podcast database, what are your suggestions for must-listens?
Posted by Andrew at 8:27 AM