Saturday, November 03, 2012

Jesus and Chicken Pot Pie

My friend Brook and I grew up as committed Christians.  We had many great theological conversations over the years.  However, as we got older our apostasy grew... and this is about as theological as our conversations get now....

  • this picture got me thinking...they should serve chicken pot pies at the Lord's table every once in a while, because I'm pretty sure Jesus and his disciples didn't just eat bread and wine all the time, I'll bet they had chicken sometimes too...
    One of these things is more important than the other...
    One of these things is more important than the other...

    • Andrew Hackman "at the Lord's table we unite"
      Unless it is a closed communion... then we divide again... no chicken pie for you!
    • Brook Downs yeah, but the people serving communion don't know who's in or out, so it's kind of a voluntary division and self-exclusion. they don't ask for id or anything, so you could go up and get some communion if you really wanted to, and then you could be all "in your face!" about it afterwards to them, and then maybe they'd start checking membership cards.
    • Brook Downs plus...doesn't that look like a pot pie in the picture?

    • Andrew Hackman or a donut... or a biscuit... I might be more inclined to take communion if it had good wine and something edible...
    • Brook Downs that does not look like a donut. seriously, wtf is wrong with you?

    • Andrew Hackman You can picture a little jelly, just our of sight, in the middle there.... it is a very fresh jelly donut that is hiding its jelly
    • Brook Downs no. no you can not.

    • Brook Downs that is either a picture of the body of Christ, or it is a pot pie.

    • Andrew Hackman Well, if its a pie, it has a two inch thick crust on top....

    • Brook Downs also, has anyone ever actually been turned away from communion? I mean, if you don't believe what that church believes, then what the hell are you doing in their church anyway? why would you even want their communion? is this some sort of religious affirmative-action scenario? non-believers being bussed in to churches?
    • Andrew Hackman Well no... other than they tell you up front that their communion is for X people.... which is fine... but that dispels the unity line... and your chicken pie with it.
    • Brook Downs I think maybe churches would be more inclusive on chicken pot pie day. in fact, maybe that's the solution - bread and wine for believers, chicken pot pie for everyone else.
    • Andrew Hackman That would be the end of the church... believers would walk up front, have the option of wine from a common communion cup that contains remnants of the previous person's spittle (or a thimble's worth from a brittle plastic shot glass) and a really bad wafer... or pot pie with a two inch golden flaky crust. You are going to have scores of believers announcing "fuck that", and then going off with pagans to eat pie.
    • Brook Downs and that's why there's the doctrine of hell, so people won't choose a chicken pot pie over their eternal salvation.

1 comment:

Andy Marshall said...

Best comment in the whole thread is the last one by Brook! Hilarious.

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