Going Back To Christianity?

 

The latest podcast from Bart Campolo is an interview with a man who deconverted from the Christian faith only to convert back later.  He refers to his time out of faith as atheism.  

I am always suspicious of this declaration while simultaneously being hesitant to doubt the declaration.  I was a Christian for about 30 years and many Christians interpret my leaving as evidence that I was never one in the first place.  Would I not be doing the same thing to doubt his conclusion?

Perhaps.

Still, I wonder if it is merely a misnaming of an event.

I live in Salt Lake City and I know a number of folks who have deconverted from Mormonism.  However, not all of them became Atheists.  Many ended up in some other Christian denomination.  Others slipped into less definable spiritualities focused on energies, crystals, and auras.  

There is a difference between leaving "A" faith - and leaving faith.  For about a year or so after I left Christianity, I researched other religions.  Yes, I had left Christianity... but I had to be something... right??  My belief in the supernatural and "something else" being out there was not gone.  Even once I had made the mental transition to atheism, it took a while before my heart and the superstitions burned into my psyche were on board.

So, when I listened to Josh's story... I don't hear a once atheist.  I hear a guy who became less than dazzled by his faith... had his 40 days in the wilderness... and then landed in a different version of his faith.  

I suppose people can be atheists and convert back to faith.  

But, more often than not, I think describing one's transition time as "atheism" just adds drama and street cred to the story (whether the teller is intentionally doing so or not).

Viewing God Properly

This is a response I gave to a friend on a Facebook thread when he challenged the notion someone of even being an atheist.  He shared an article that stated that atheists fail when they simply reject the vision of God they have contrived and are not open to other visions of God. When folks on the thread did not want to engage in that line of reasoning, the response was "As usual, atheists have no answers when questioned."

I get some version of that rather often, typically from liberal believers.  Anyway, here was my response:

The problem is that they are rather specious questions. Where is the scientific experiment conducted by Leprechaun-deniers that definitively proved that "There are no Leprechauns?” How did they define the Leprechaun whom they state doesn't exist? (I quoted the article, substituting Leprechaun for God)

I do not lose any sleep over not answering such questions. If someone wants to feel they scored points on me when I don’t, enjoy. I have no motivation to spend the effort to believe in Leprechauns when there is no reason to. I don’t believe in Leprechauns… but if I saw one, I would be happy to have been wrong and I think the event would be amazing. It is the same with deities.

“To speak of God properly…” Mr. Hart shows he is playing with loaded dice from his first statement. In this sense, he is no different from the varied other theists I have encountered in my life. From the Hell, Fire, and Brimstone preacher, to the pentecostal healer, to the prosperity pastor… they all want to tell me how to view God “properly”. Even believers whom I respect such as Borg, Spong, and Rohr have their own take on viewing God “properly”. In the end, I don’t think these people are telling me about God, they are telling me about themselves… but that is another thread.

I once had an ex-Mormon friend of mine who said, “Mormonism really is a beautiful belief structure… but you have to stay within their box of thinking to make it work.” Many of the arguments made for theism, or against atheism, have this kind of set-up… you have to accept certain premises in order for the argument to work. If someone tells me – “Here is what Atheism is!” and it doesn’t line up with how I think about my atheism, all of their arguments thereafter are meaningless. (I think the reverse is also true, so I rarely go after someone on their theism and stick to my problems with harmful dogma.)

It is similar to when my 2nd-grade students want to tell me a joke/riddle that starts with a question. When I answer in a way they had not anticipated, they start over and instruct me on how to answer “properly”.  In order for the joke/riddle to work, I have to give the right response. When it is over, they are gleeful with their joke/riddle telling skills and I play along, but it is a contrivance.

Any argument where I have to accept a very narrow (or very vague) premise from the get-go in order for the argument to work is a contrivance. Such arguments work for the already convinced, but to those outside the acceptance of the foundational premise, it simply doesn’t sell.

Do Atheists Worship?

This is a common trope among some believers, often served in the form of "Atheists are religious too" or some other such delivery.

If challenged on this point, what usually follows is a watering down of the word "worship". As just happened in a discussion on the original thread, a person responded to me:

"...I view worship as whatever we deem worthy of our time, attention, adoration, money, and resources. Not all worship is bad, for believers “it” shouldn’t be worshipped more/higher than God. I do sincerely believe for example, modern sports obsession “for some” is a form of worship. From decals to literal idol statues, blankets, hours of focus, clothes, people will spend their time money and focus to a point of obsession... almost like we are hardwired that way..."

So they are now putting on par that what they think and feel about Jesus with what I think and feel about disc golf. Is that really the digression that believers like Keller want to make?

I don't think it is. I think their elevation of the word worship is much higher in usual circumstances... but for some reason, it bothers them that unbelievers don't "worship" anything. So, when this topic comes up, they broaden the definition of the word. Lots of believers I know partake in this linguistic sleight of hand. I think these believers need to do a little introspection into what drives them to such an approach.

National Day of Prayer

If your definition of prayer is as a reflective and contemplative practice... I have no quarrel. But if you mean it as some way of conjuring magic, or entreating or binding a supernatural force to perform a task for you... then I think you are wrong. Prayer doesn't change reality.

However, having been religious for decades myself, I recognize it does change how people behave. Praying often makes people think they have cover they do not have. Prayer can make people feel they do not need to take reasonable precautions. Instead, they trust that their favored status with a deity will provide what they need.

Beyond that, prayer often blames the victim. I heard a popular pastor state this morning that if a Christian catches the virus, it is their fault. If they had sufficient faith, sickness could not touch them. I cannot write him off as just a quack... I know many folks who give to his "ministry".

This is my personal testimony: I spent most of my life as a believer. I took my faith very seriously. I prayed.

I have been an Atheist for about the past 8 years. Haven't prayed in ages.

There has been no difference in the amount of fortune "that just couldn't be a coincidence". Just as much good and bad "luck" fall my way now as ever did.

Reality is as consistent as ever. The only thing that changed was how I approached it.

Coming Out Atheist

I read a good article written by someone who grew up without faith in an area where that was fairly normal. It was not until she was older that she realized it is not the experience of most folks.  She addresses "when" to announce one is atheist.

I like to use the word atheist because it draws a line in the sand. I think that is important in American Christian culture. I was talking with an evangelical relative one day and I realized through things he said that he really didn't mind if people were not Christian... just as long as they understood that, in America, they were second-tier citizens. Really, you may think I exaggerate, but no... he said that "these people" just need to understand that "Christianity comes first".

I think this is why Evangelicals like Trump so much. He, more so than any previous president, is willing to use language that aligns with my relative's 2nd-tier perspective. Evangelicals (and those of similar conservative religion) see two Americas and so does Trump. When they speak of unity, they do not mean in a pluralistic way, rather they want your conversion or submission.

I use the word atheist because I like to stand in direct opposition to that. I will not convert or submit. However, I am privileged in that regard. I don't pay any particular cost to be "out". There are plenty of folks who, if they announced their atheism, could lose their marriage, their job, their standing in the community, their family relations, etc.

Think about it. In America, someone can announce that they are a serial adulterer, an absent father, a sexual predator, a bully, a racist, etc. and still be elected president.

Announce you are an atheist? You wouldn't even be considered in either party.

We still have a ways to go.

Facebook Faith #58: God Brings Trials?

I regularly see my religious friends post on Facebook about the various trials they are going through... and how God has brought these to teach and refine them.

If one has an all-powerful deity, I suppose that is the most charitable way you could frame your deity's involvement in the pains and sufferings of your life.

I used to think that way, but I left the faith life about 8 years ago. Here's the thing - the same amount of fortune and frustration occur in my life now as ever did before. Cutting God loose in my life did not end "blessings" nor remove a "hedge of protection". Life is moving on pretty much as it always had.

But honestly, I do find the hard times easier to bear without an extra set of footprints in the sand. I now know those valleys are just... life. And life happens. There is no deity causing this calamity to instruct me or to punish me. I no longer add stress to the situation by obsessing over the tea leaves, trying to figure out what God is trying to show me or where I went wrong to allow the Devil this foothold in my life.

I also find taking the focus off of unseen spirits has given me a greater appreciation for the people traveling our common path. THEY are the ones who help me through the trials. THEY are the ones who offer me kindness.

Believers often wonder how those who do not believe in gods have hope during the hard times.

Personally, I have found it much easier.

Christianity in America

I wrote an article back in 2012 about a conversation where I found myself defending the teachings of Jesus to a bunch of Christians.  I had recently started identifying as an atheist so this was a surprising turnabout.

Nowadays, I am no longer surprised. American Christianity is drowning in members who have little interest in the Way of Jesus. They want the team membership that comes with name association, they want an imparted sense of morality (while eschewing the work of adhering to an ethical code), they want a Hell escape route; but they find the actual Way of Jesus (if they even know it) to lack the control they desire, the power they crave, or the practicality they believe they need.

I watch Christian after Christian defend taking screaming children from their mothers. When asked if they could really picture Jesus doing that, they happily admit that Jesus wouldn't... but Jesus lives in heaven and we live here. If we follow the Way of Jesus, we'll be taken advantage of. Let's leave Jesus at the church building and Bible study so WE can get done what needs to be done.

These Christians have taken their walk in the desert and were offered the same bargain as the Nazarene.

The devil took Jesus to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”

I don't believe in the supernatural. There is no Devil. However, this is a poignant allegory for our time.

Christians have weighed the offer and have chosen the kingdoms of the world.  They rally behind the name of Jesus but want nothing to do with his Way.

Disc Golf and Church

Summer is a time of almost daily disc golf for me.  Whether by myself or with friends, it is the exercise my body desperately needs and the Zen my soul craves.

However, when I approached Valley Regional Park the other day, the lot was overflowing.  Valley is a multi-purpose park, so it is not unusual to see it jam-packed due to sports tournaments, fairs, or other community happenings.

As I pulled in to meet a friend for a round, I saw a sign at the entrance -"Free Event!"  I knew instantly what the temp stage and bouncy houses in the distance meant.  Such vague signage could mean only one thing: Church Event.

Not just any church... these were obviously evangelicals.  No one else could be so gauche.  I know the Evangelical playbook well.  "Church in the Park" is one way that a completely insular group can convince themselves they are a vital part of the community.

I have been out of church life for about 6 years.  I have returned on occasion for a few Catholic Christmas services and a Mormon baptism or two.  In that time though, I had forgotten how truly awful Evangelical services really are.

First, there was the music.  What a cluster @#$% of mind control.  Chorus lines repeated over and over and over reminding everyone how terrible they are... and how lucky they are to have a God who condescends to love them in spite of how terrible they are.  After a few dozen cycles of that message, we moved on to various choruses of "Our God is so much better than everyone else's god!"

I was having a noticeably more visceral reaction to this than my ex-Mormon buddy, but he did agree it was pretty tacky.  Though annoyed by the triggering cult music of my past, I was still on par by hole 3.

We were out of earshot on holes 5-7.  I was grateful for the brief respite.

Somewhere along the eighth fairway, we came back into audio range.  The service had moved on to the sermon and the pastor was dutifully hitting every trope - the "world" thinks it is enjoying life, but they aren't.  Other religions think they know God, but they don't.  Meaning can only be found in our faith.

He wrapped up the sermon with an emotional appeal to Jesus.  I was grateful to be heading out to the back nine before he could build to the ol' sinner's prayer.

When I got home, I looked up the church to take a peek at their event calendar.  I now know which days this summer to visit another course.

The God I Don't Believe In

“When somebody says to me, “I don’t believe in God,” my first response is, “Tell me about the God you don’t believe in.” Almost always, it’s the God of supernatural theism.” 

- Marcus J. Borg, Jesus: Uncovering the Life, Teachings, and Relevance of a Religious Revolutionary

Another version of that ends with the asker responding, "I don't believe in that God either."

This is a common misunderstanding among some of my liberal believing friends.  The assumption is that my lack of a belief is a response to their deity.  Either I abandoned faith because of a faulty view of God... or that my remaining Atheist is because I do not have a right view of God.

They seem to struggle with the idea that I don't believe in any deities... not just theirs.  Jesus, Mohammed, Krishna, old, new, liberal, conservative... I don't believe in any of them.

Because they hold to a notion that I just haven't "met" the right god yet (theirs), I am regularly encouraged to listen to this or that speaker, read this or that book. They spend zero time reading the books and listening to the evangelists of other religions... but they can't understand why my eyes glaze at the thought of reading theirs.

Beyond that, I sometimes get the angry liberal believer who chastises me for only addressing conservative, fundamentalist religion.  "Why do you not address liberal belief?  Why do you only go after "the easy targets""?

When liberal Christians start petitioning the state to make my students pray to Jesus, I'll bitch about that too.  But they're not, so I don't.  The vast majority of my outward complaints concerning religion concern its tangible negative influence on humanity.  If your belief in God encourages you to do things like smoke pot and save the whales, I'm not going to have much to say.

Christians Don't Make Atheists

In the article The Christians Making Atheists, John Pavlovitz makes an argument that the reason people are not coming to Christianity is due to the bad behavior of its adherents.  He closes the article by stating:

... the reason the Church soon will be teetering on the verge of extinction and irrelevance will be because those entrusted to perpetuate the love of Jesus in the world, lost the plot so horribly, and gave the world no other option but to look elsewhere for goodness and purpose and truth.

I can agree with most of his critiques here of American Christianity - there is little Jesus left in the faith. It is often just a bastion of bigots waving tribal flags in the faces of those it calls "other".

However, Christians behaving badly is not the reason most folks become an Atheist. As my friend Brook said, "Christians are not the biggest obstacle to people taking Christianity seriously. That's just a story Christians tell themselves so they don't have to face the fact that their story and entire foundation sounds utterly ridiculous to non-Christians."

Religion will make little sense to most folks not raised in it. And it makes less sense to more and more religious folks as they are being exposed to the thoughts and religions of their neighbor.

Religion continues based on two foundations:

• Its ability to control the narrative delivered to children
• Its ability to control the narrative delivered to its members. 

Religion is losing control on both fronts.

When I was growing up, every kid I knew went to church. Maybe not my church, but a church. Nowadays, kids usually have a friend or two that does not attend church or belongs to a completely different faith. When I had questions regarding my faith when I was a young person, there was no one to talk to about it other than those within my faith. Today, people with questions have many resources available. Religious groups are losing the ability to control the narrative.

Mr. Pavlovitz assumes people are leaving his faith because of the bad behavior of its members. I left religion because I realized that the sincere devotion of others to their religion was no different than what was occurring in mine. When my religion ceased to be uniquely true... it ceased to be true. I no longer believed.

The bad behavior of those in my tribe was incidental.

Facebook Faith # 57 - Less of Me...

A friend of mine on Facebook posted, "What Would Actually Make You Happy?" He is a religious man, so many of the responses were of a religious nature.

One of the responses made my heart heavy. A gentleman replied:

"Less of me..."

It was painful to read because I know that is exactly how I would have answered that question throughout most of the time I was a believer. In conservative Evangelical theology, you are seen as bringing nothing to the table, everything is about what God does. The only thing preventing God from doing his best for you and in you is you. With such a view of one's relationship to the divine, self-disparaging comments become the norm.

Growing up, sermons from the pulpit, bible studies, and song lyrics constantly drove home the message that I was, inherently, the problem. These lines were typical of the Christian bands I listened to as a believer:

"I know how I ought to be. Alive to You and dead to me."

" More of Jesus, less of me."

" I am nothing! So I lay down and cry for mercy."

I recently moved my entire music collection over to a USB drive for my car. Even still, most of my music collection is Christian Rock. I tried listening to some old songs as I drove around town. Though I could still enjoy the music, the lyrics tended to be so... depressing, that I just had to turn it off. It was just weird listening to a good tune where the lyrics repeated how awful everyone is.

The above meme was posted by another believing friend of mine. I sigh when I read things like that.

You are not the villain. Happiness will not come from there being less of you.

The answers will not be found in tearing down "you".

What I have discovered since leaving the life of faith a few years back is that happiness and peace develop as I am becoming my best self.

Before You Speak

Before you speak, Persian, know that in Sparta everyone, even a king's messenger, is responsible for the words of their voice. Now...what message do you bring?

King Leonidas said these words to the Persian messenger at the beginning of 300. He was reminding the messenger that if he was bringing threats, he had better choose his words carefully.

When I was a believer, I thought of myself like the Persian - the King's messenger. If someone did not like what I was saying, they had problems with God, not me. I would say things similar to what I read on a believer's blog today:

...they are arguing with the wrong person. They shouldn’t be upset and arguing with me; they should be upset and argue with God. He said it. I’m just repeating what He said. I base my beliefs on the Crucified and Risen Lord.

This is a common sentiment expressed by believers.

I was reminded of another version of this redirecting of responsibility during a Facebook conversation today.  One gentleman argued:

Sorry, I can't agree with Sam Harris. To depend on the "self" to create "conditions of human flourishing" is more dangerous than even his description of religion. What I believe human flourishing is quite different from my neighbor and even light years away from someone in the far east or Africa. Also if it up to the "self" then no one has the right to judge or criticize my renditions.

I run into this argument frequently among believers ... if we don't have a god to declare something right or wrong.... then nothing can really be right or wrong. I responded:

Or everyone does, and we all have to justify, weigh, and examine our renditions. In such a case, everyone becomes responsible and has a voice, and no one gets to disengage from their responsibilities by proclaiming "I didn't say that, god did... if you don't like it, take it up with god!"

It was empowering, and a little scary, when I first left my faith to realize that I was responsible. My opinions, my actions, my choices.... and their consequences... were all on me. Leaving faith caused me to put all my ideas under a microscope... because I could no longer attribute them to anyone but myself. 

The Function of Apologetics

I have few evangelical Christians in my life or on my Facebook page anymore.  However, the other day one of them made a comment regarding Yahweh, Hillary Clinton, and abortion. Hillary was bad because of her pro-choice position.  I commented on his page that, Yahweh does not serve as a good moral contrast, citing Deuteronomy 21 where Yahweh instructs his followers to stone their children if they are stubborn and rebellious.

Another friend interjected that I was taking that verse out of context (no one ever complains about context when the pleasant stuff is quoted). She provided a link to an article that explained why that verse didn't really say what it seemed to say. I responded:

As I read through that article, it does little to alleviate the severity of that scripture. For me, at the end of the day, there is no context where I am going to watch the stoning of a child and walk away with an explanation that would justify it to me.

I suspect that when a Christian reads a similar scripture in the Koran, an apologetic explanation would carry no further for them either. They would read it and find it horrific, regardless of explanations their Muslim friend might offer them.

I live in the heart of Mormondom. My evangelical friends have dozens of critiques of Mormon scriptures and history – and Mormons have an answer for every one of them (e.g. http://en.fairmormon.org/Joseph_Smith/Polygamy). Do those answers work? For the Mormon, yes… but not for the evangelical.

The function of apologetics is not to change the mind of the unbeliever- it is to quiet the mind of the believer. No matter the religious stripe, a believer will readily accept an explanation that holds zero water for someone outside the faith. Why? Because the believer is already 95% convinced. They just need the assurance that somewhere out there, the question has been asked and answered. With that assurance in mind, they can proceed along the path – calm and content.

It was the same for me back when I was a believer. The shift came when I began to apply the same standards of judgment to my own religion as well as to others. If something was unacceptable for another religion, then it had to be unacceptable for mine. No longer would I use one set of rules for my beliefs and a different set for the belief of the other. Goal posts did not get to change location depending on whose side was being defended.

I encourage everyone to use the same measure for your faith that you do for others. If you are giving your faith a pass, give that same pass to other faiths. If you have a criticism of another faith, use that same scale for your own.

Rather than engaging my thoughts on the article, she replied, "You are an apostate so I expect that from you."

This exchange was a reminder of why I rarely engage these kinds of exchanges anymore. Outside the evangelical sphere I am a father, teacher, friend, husband, actor, singer, writer, etc. Inside the evangelical sphere there is no need to look any further than apostate.

Her shared article served its purpose. It did nothing to change the mind of this unbeliever, but it soothed her believing mind and halted any possible questions right there.

Does Anyone Listen To The Radio Anymore?

The morning after the Hillary/Trump debate, I decided to pause my usual podcast/audiobook listening to hear radio commentary on the event. What a miserable time that turned out to be. On my drive in to work, over half that time was spent on commercials. What talk there was, occurred in snippets.

I have become spoiled by podcasts. I am used to listening to hour long conversations, rather than 8 minute segments.

Yesterday, I accidently killed my podcast list within the app and have been slowly rebuilding it over the past 24 hours. Here are my primaries that were added back immediately.

• Skeptics Guide to the Universe - This one is fairly new for me, but has become a favorite. Great science and critical thinking information and discussion - and accessible to a layman like me.
• Nerdist - A deep catalog of conversations with various artists, musicians, actors, etc. My music and movie choices have been expanded due to this show. Did you know Iggy Pop is fascinating to listen to and seems to be a really great guy? My world expanded.
• Real Time - I don't have HBO, but they put the whole show up on Podcast each week. I think Bill has some of the best panels out there.
• Fatman on Batman - I love Kevin Smith. He is a great guy and his enthusiasm for life, comics, and movies is contagious. He also is crazy profane, so it's not for everyone.
• Beyond The Pale - My brother and sister-in-law do a podcast in Hong Kong. It focuses on the more progressive end of Christianity, but also includes plenty of movies, politics, and adult beverages. I have been on their show a number of times and we are talking about doing it again soon when a topic presents itself. Got any ideas?

While I am rebuilding my podcast database, what are your suggestions for must-listens?

More Podcasting With Beyond The Pale

This past July we three Hackman boys headed back to Shelby Township, Michigan to bid a final farewell to the Hackman Homestead.  My parents, after 40 years on Woodbridge Drive, are doing what most retirees in Michigan do... move to Florida.

While there, my Hong Kong based brother and sister-in-law brought out their podcasting equipment and we sat down with some adult beverages to record an episode.  This was the second time they have had me on their show, Beyond The Pale.  Like last time, our conversation was long enough to justify it being split into a few episodes.

As always, we had a great conversation.  However, this time had the added benefit of my wife chiming in about half way through.  Mary Lee and I have similar, and very different, tales to tell about our journeys out of the evangelical faith we were brought up in. I am glad we were able to include some of her story in our conversation.

You can listen online here:

Episode 021: Time For Christians To Grow Up with Andrew Hackman Bonus: Race In America Episode 022: "So I Married A Heretic" with Marylee & Andrew Hackm...

and our previous conversation last winter...

Episode 004: My Brother's Journey to Atheism (Pt 1)

Episode 005: My Brother's Journey To Atheism (Pt2)

If you are an Apple user, you can find Beyond the Pale at ITunes.

You can also keep up with Beyond the Pale on Facebook

Morality Over Obedience

One of the questions I often get as an Atheist is, if I don't have a deity that I worship, where do I get my morality? I contend that receiving a moral code from an authority is always going to be problematic.

People who receive their morality will always be living with contradictions - what they have been told and what they have experienced. In addition, if people have a deity and a holy text like the one I had, they are going to struggle with their authority being inconsistent.

I find that non-belief gives me a much clearer playing field and encourages me to engage my ethical code in ways that I did not when I was a believer.  When I was a theist, I was concerned with whether or not I was obedient.  Now I am concerned with how much help or harm I bring to my world.

My Journey to Atheism - Part 2

Here is part 2 of my discussion with my brother about leaving the faith. We talk about why I couldn't stop at Agnosticism and what effect this all had on my family. If you haven't listened to Part 1 yet, you can find it here:  Part 1

My Journey to Atheism - Part 1

I want to recommend to you my brother's podcast. Steve is a Christian believer whose faith journey has led him to ... more open pastures ... in the past half dozen years. Steve and I have both gone through a lot of changes over our decades as brothers, but no matter where we were politically, philosophically, or religiously, we have always managed to have excellent dialogue. One reason is because Steve, at his core, is a great conversationalist and that really comes through in the podcast. Be it discussions of faith, stories from his month long walk on the Camino de Santiago, or opinions about the latest Star Wars movie, his new podcast has proven to be a worthy listen on my list.

In his latest episode, Steve interviews me about my journey from a life of faith to atheism. We talk about Hell theology, life among the Mormons, and how Evangelicals respond to diversity.  We had a great conversation, in fact, it lasted over 2 hours. So Steve split it in half and this is part one. Enjoy!

Facebook Faith #56 - St. Paul Set The Bar of Love Well

A friend on Facebook posted this page earlier today.  In general, I like it.  I think it is useful, not only for reflecting on potential life long partners, but it can be applied to ourselves as well.  I think that Paul, in 1 Corinthians 13, does a first rate job of describing love.

The interesting thing is that this practice - inserting the name of a potential life partner into the text - was a maneuver that significantly destabilized my faith.  Like the author of the shared page, I tried inserting my God in place of the word Love in 1 Corinthians 13:

• God is patient
• God is kind
• God does not envy
• God does not boast
• God is not proud
• God is not rude
• God is not self-seeking
• God is not easily angered
• God keeps no record of wrongs
• God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth
• God always protects
• God always trusts
• God always hopes
• God always perseveres
• God never fails

As I looked at that list, I realized that 1 Corinthians 13 did not describe the God of my evangelical heritage.  The God I found in the Bible was like this list sometimes, but certainly not all of the time. In fact, the more I investigated the Bible, the more I found that the god of those pages failed this test miserably.

For a while, I clung to a God that met the love standard.  So what if the god of my sacred text didn't measure up.  I could ignore the text, ignore the proclamations of other believers, ignore my own doubts.  I was like Hawkeye in MASH, desperately pounding on the chest of a dead man, clinging to the hope that my desperation could revive this patient.  I pounded on that chest for a few years.

In the end, I realized that 1 Corinthians 13 is a good list.  Paul had a moment of enlightenment and tapped into something exceptional.

Love is all of those things and is a worthy pursuit for its own sake.

Give Thanks!

People are amazing!  Out of the 7 billion people on the planet, most of the people, most of the time, are really being excellent to each other.

I saw this meme today, and it made me think of how thankful I am for engineers.  Last year, my family was involved in an auto accident near our home.  We walked away from that accident because of those excellent engineers at Ford Motor Company.

I am thankful for the first responders of the South Jordan police, fire, and paramedic teams.  They were at the accident site in no time, checking on everyone involved.

I am thankful for my buddy Geoff who works at Unique Collision Repair in South Jordan.  He was my first call at the accident site and he walked me through everything I needed to do to get the car taken care of in the short term.  He made the tow calls and later handled everything with my insurance company.  The day after the accident, he went over the damage with me and explained the marvels of modern engineering that kept my family safe inside the cab of our Freestyle.

I am thankful to everyone at Unique Collision Repair who took that wreck and put it back together as good as new!

I am thankful to my insurance company, Horace Mann, who took care of getting us a rental and were just great to work with.

A lot of wonderful people were involved that night with protecting and helping my family.


When you have been helped, when you have been rescued, when you have been medically treated, when you have been educated, when you have been mentored - those were people who did that. People who gave to you from their time and hard earned talents.

Give thanks!

... and aim it in the right direction.