Pratt The Raptor

"I know why it's the case, it's because the internet runs on clicks, so if half the country is reading about how brave they are for knowing the earth is flat it's not like the other half is gonna click on articles about how round earth is, they're going to click on lists of 17 things to do when your uncle thinks the earth is flat. Because that's the thing we'd like to learn, that's the ****ing earth shape that's still unknown to us. We fall into a trap of essentially studying bad studying, in hopes that we can Pratt the raptor." ~ Dan Harmon

I love the phrase "Pratt the Raptor." I agree with Dan that many arguments on the net can be pointless and just serve to entangle yourself in a mess that the "Raptor" enjoys.

However, those arguments CAN help turn the studio audience. One of the things that helped snap me out of religion's spell was watching and listening to those conversations when I was a believer. I cringed at the behavior displayed by the apologists of my faith. I was embarrassed by their lack of listening, their passive aggression, their belittling attitudes, and their straight-up insults.

Yeah, you're probably never going to Pratt the Raptor ... but the folks out in the stands are another story. 

Marvel and Ant-Man 3

I saw AntMan on Thursday and it was... fine -as so many things have been from Marvel of late.  I enjoyed the flick, had a few laughs, munched my popcorn.  I was entertained for those 2 hours.

But nothing in that movie made me want to go out and grab another ticket.

I have watched the scene below a dozen times.  It is an intense scene.  Dialogue and story are at the forefront and the actors are bringing it.

There are lots of comic movies now that demonstrate such scenes.  Batman and the Joker talking in the jail during Dark Knight.  Civil War.  Winter Soldier.  Logan.  X-Men.  Superman: The Movie.

Scenes where characters are talking about things that matter.

That is what gets me right back to the turnstile line after exiting the ride.

I was rewatching Robocop again today... cheesy... but so many great lines.

There was nothing like that in Ant-Man... no scenes I want to head back to the theater for.  No lines to ruminate over again and again.

Almost every scene of dialogue was just segueing us to the next CGI MacGuffin chase.

There was a lot to like about the latest Antman.  I would give it a B... but that seems to be the best Marvel is doing lately.

Holy Gwappo

Like Deadpool's buddy... don't count on me to not spill the beans.  I will sing like a canary.

I had a kidney stone that had to be retrieved. They put in a stent and removed it a week later.

Let me tell you... next time I'll keep the kidney stone.

I knew this was not going to be good.  The nurse said he was going to give me a numbing agent... but it shouldn't hurt.

And yet, it did.

So already this was following the pattern of a bladder scope they did on me a few years ago.  They too said the numbing agent wouldn't hurt.  They too said that the numbing agent should keep me from experiencing any real pain from the scope.  So when they told me today that I shouldn't feel much, I broke out in a cold sweat and fought the urge to run from the room.

And yep... it hurt.  Needle being pushed through your urethra hurt.

Apparently, other humans get numbed by the stuff they shoot up your willy... but me not so much.

I was breathing like a woman giving birth and blurting out uncontrolled gasps as that stent grabber pushed its way toward the target.  A procedure that should only be a few minutes seemed to be taking forever.

"We're past your bladder... almost there!" my doctor encouraged while the nurse told me to slow down my breathing.

Then it hit.  THE pain.  The most I have ever felt.

"HOLY GWAPPO!!!" I yelped.

"Holy gwappo??" the nurse and doc said in unison.

"I have no idea what that meant," I laughed painfully.  "Apparently years of elementary teaching filters out swearing even under the most ardent stress."

I have a feeling for the rest of the day I was known as the holy gwappo patient.  🙂

Anyway, that experience made me think of this scene from Deadpool.  I would totally be like TJ Miller's character.

April/May 2021 Movie Grades

I reactivated my AMC A-List 6 weeks ago.  Here is what I have seen-

Voyagers – Lord of the Flies set in space.  It had a few good moments but overall, it felt like another CW teen angst story.     C

Nobody - Bob Odenkirk is just fun to watch as John Wick.  The first 2/3 of the movie is riveting.  The last third took on a campy tone and I would not have been surprised to find that the writing and directing were done by someone else.  It felt that different.  Still, it was good enough for a second viewing that same week.  If guns and brutal fight scenes are your cup of tea, this is a good one.  B

The Unholy – My daughter is my horror film buddy… and we both agreed that this was a dud.  It had a good cast and Jefferey Dean Morgan in the center seat made it endurable.  However, since nothing in the story was particularly scary, they went to the jump-scare well 10 times too often.  D

Nomadland – The story of a wanderlust-driven widow living out of her van.  There is a thin plot, but mostly it is just a series of encounters with different people.  A slow burn that is designed to meander.  I was completely entranced and I left the theater desperate to travel.  B+

Wrath of Man – A moderately entertaining revenge/heist flick.  A father develops an elaborate plan to get revenge on the men who killed his son.  I guess Liam Neeson is too old for this role now.  B-

Those Who Wish Me Dead -  This movie started off on the wrong foot for me.  Angelina Jolie and her cadre of firefighters are just a bunch of loud bullies.  They are introduced interrupting a commencement that they are too cool to respect.  In the next scene, the guys in her posse are in a bar making fun of others for not being as “manly” as them.  I had nothing but disdain for the protagonists the first 10 minutes in.  It did pick up after that somewhat.  Ultimately, it is a story about a firefighter saving a kid in the mountain forests, but I never shook my first impressions.  C

Spiral -  I usually pass on Saw movies and their like.  I don’t want to see one torture death, let alone a series of them.  However, I am a fan of Chris Rock… and there was nothing else new to see that week, so I gave it a go.  Minus the torture-death aspect, I enjoyed the movie.  Chris Rock delivered.  It was a good cop story.  Just give me the edited version, please.  B

Raya and the Last Dragon – This was a very enjoyable Disney movie. It succeeds in walking that line of keeping the adults entertained while engaging the children.  Fun characters.  Fun story.  B+

Scott Pilgrim Vs The World – AMC has been doing “Fan-Faves” in their theaters.  Older flicks for 5 bucks.  I hope they continue this practice beyond the pandemic.  I have tried to get in to see Back to the Future and Raiders of the Lost Ark but they are always sold out (theaters still only allow 40% seating).  I did not see this movie when it first came out but I assume it must have been for 20 somethings then what Singles was back in the early 90s.  Still, even at 50+ I thought this movie was hilarious.  I love fast, underplayed witty lines and this movie had loads of that.  B+

Cruella – The trailers for this movie did not do it justice.  I went in with low expectations and ended up thoroughly enjoying it.  The character of Cruella was a perfect anti-hero.  This is the direction that the Harley Quinn movie SHOULD have taken. The movie has one major failing through no fault of its own.  It is NOT a kid’s movie, though it can’t help but be billed as such.  It is long and filled with dialog… and the kids in my theater were not enjoying it.  You might want to catch this at a later showing to avoid a theater of bored 7-year-olds.  B+

A Quiet Place II – I was not as enamored with the first one as much as everyone else seemed to be.  So, when this one chose to retread the same territory as the first one, I found myself looking at my watch a lot.  Not a good sign if the movie is only an hour and a half.  C+

(BTW, my grades speak primarily to my personal enjoyment of the movie.  You may notice I rarely give A’s.  To me, those are reserved for movies I can see a dozen times and never get bored.  Movies like Tombstone, A few Good Men, The Thing, 2010.  C’s are “average” and still worth a watch, but not a repeat.  B’s are enjoyable and probably worthy of another view or two.  D’s I don’t recommend and F’s I walk out of.)

I Rarely Walk Out of A Movie

I usually trust that still, small voice (and it was SO right this time).

Infidel was not on my radar to see.  It already had a few strikes against it but tonight the showing was at a real convenient time, so I decided to roll the dice.

The first strike was that my Dad had mentioned that he wanted to see it.  Don't get me wrong, I get my movie-loving genes from my Dad and we agree on movies way more often than we don't.  The problem was that I had never heard of it.  Me... they guy who follows all the movie sites on Facebook.  Where would he have heard of a movie that I hadn't?

Must be Right-Wing/Christian media.

Strike one.

The second strike was due to Jim Caviezel.  I enjoyed him in Person of Interest but a story Ethan Suplee shared on a podcast really soured me.  Ethan spent most of his early career as the heavy set, funny guy in movies like Remember the Titans and on My Name is Earl. 

Suplee and Caviezel were on a flight together traveling to a movie shoot.  Caviezel took the opportunity to tell Ethan about Jesus.  He explained that Ethan obviously needed Jesus ... because... and then he made reference to Ethan's obesity, which he contrasted with his own in shape self.  Ethan told his wife on the phone that night that no one had ever made him feel so poorly about himself.  It was due to that and a few other realities that motivated him to get in shape.  He never wanted to be spoken to that way again.  On the podcast, Suplee said he got in shape, not because of Caviezel and Jesus but in spite of them.

Still, I can generally separate someone being a jerk from their performance, so I got my bucket of popcorn and soda and headed into the theater.  I was the only one occupying a seat.

The opening credits came on as I was getting situated.  Across the screen flashed "D'Souza Productions".  I was alone in the theater so I half-shouted at the screen, "DINESH @#$%^&* D'Souza??!!"  I did a quick check on my phone.

"God-#$%%!^!!!" I yelled even louder. 

Dinesh D'Souza is one of the worst Christo-Nationalist political media hacks out there.  A genuinely awful human!  Alex Jones level.  He was sent to prison for campaign finance violations.  Trump pardoned him.

I felt like Cameron pounding on the steering wheel of his car, frustrated with his own indecision.  I was so irritated.

"God-D*****!!"

By the time the opening credits ceased, I had decided to stay... until I was finished with my popcorn. I was GOING to eat my bucket of popcorn.

The first 20 minutes vacillated between meh, tacky, and horrible.  They had used plenty of anti-Islamic tropes, set up the "Christian who lost their faith because of a tragedy" sub-plot and infused most moments with that general Christian movie awkwardness that comes from having ulterior motives in the storytelling.

It was getting grueling... but I was only halfway done with my popcorn.

At this point of the movie, Caviezel's character, who is a Christian speaker, goes to Cario to talk at some kind of inter-faith chat with a Muslim TV interviewer.  Caviezel explains that the Abrahamic faiths should not be fighting among each other but against the secularists, who are the true enemy.  The Muslim interviewer heartily agrees... but almost too much.  Caviezel's character, like most evangelicals, gets nervous about appearing too agreeable with another faith so he starts to instruct the Muslim audience about Jesus.  He isn't just a prophet, he is God. The crowd grows agitated.  The interviewer asks why it isn't ok for Muslims to just think of Jesus as a prophet.  Caviezel fires back with, 

"Jesus said, I am the way..."  yada, yada. My eyes were rolling so hard into the back of my head at this point, I completely missed the interviewer's retort. Whatever it was, it was a setup.  The music vamped like an altar call and the camera did a slow pan to Caviezel's face which spoke imploringly to the movie audience:

"For God so loved..."

"That's it, I am #$%#&^% out of here!" Me, my soda, and a half-eaten bucket of popcorn were down the aisle and out of the theater before he could finish that sentence.

It was just awful.

I feel dirty that this movie got my ticket on its ledger.  Perhaps I cannot give it an accurate review because I failed to stay to the end... but I think I will find a way to live with myself.

July Movie Picks

Wow! Ten movies in the month of July.  Not a record, but respectable.

Whether or not this level of moviegoing will continue remains to be seen. My supplier is Moviepass and this past week with them has been… dramatic. I think someday there will be a comedy made of the Moviepass story.  User reactions alone could supply a lot of the bits.

Therefore, this could be the last month for your friendly neighborhood movie grader. I am a teacher and there is no way 10 movies could budget in a single month without Moviepass.

So what did July bring us? Let’s take a look (in order, btw)-

Sicario: Day of the Soldado: B-
A decent follow up to the first Sicario. It doesn’t do anything particularly original but it is an enjoyable hit-man/black-ops movie. Brolin and Del Toro take it from passable to moderately engaging.

The First Purge: D-
I have to confess, I have not seen any of the previous Purge movies. If this one is any indication, I made the right move. The motive for the Purge (give everyone 24 hours to do whatever the hell they want without consequences) is so bizarre that I just couldn’t quit shaking my head at the absurdity. This premise sets up a lot of pointless action with even worse dialog. This movie should have been direct to video.

Ocean’s 8: C+
I think I left this movie a little disappointed because I was hoping to like it more than I did. The word that keeps coming to mind is… fine. The acting was… fine. The story was… fine. The humor was… fine. I anticipated a twist ending but rather than wowing me, I shrugged when it arrived. I can’t put my finger on what was missing but, for me, it just failed to launch.

Ant-Man and the Wasp: B+
Another enjoyable Marvel movie to add to the list. A couple of new angles in this sequel but it was not quite as fun as the first. It suffered from a lack of an engaging bad guy and they took all the likeability out of Michael Douglas’s character. Still, it had enough of the usual Marvel cleverness and excitement to make it a worthy view.

Skyscraper: C-
Take Die Hard and remove all the humor, clever lines, and the over-the-top villain. Really, they could have released it at Christmas and called it Die Hard 6. It was watchable but just barely.

The Equalizer 2: B
I guess the Equalizer series is how you get Denzel Washington to play a super-hero. No costume, but all the other elements are there. Who wouldn’t enjoy watching Denzel take out bad guys for an hour or two?

Unfriended: Dark Web: C+
Dark web gets points for being a unique experience for me – you essentially watch an online chat session (although I am told they did this in the first movie of the series as well). It was well done for what it was, but still… you watch a chat session for an hour and a half. I think it would have functioned better as a 1-hour Black Mirror episode.

Teen Titans Go! To The Movies: D-
Wow… was this movie tedious! Every character delivered their line in an overly excited tone while their head raised and their eyes boggled. I was beyond annoyed after the first 15 minutes.

Most modern cartoon movies find that sweet spot of balancing being enjoyable for children and yet keeping the adults entertained. I suspect the only person who could tolerate this dumpster fire is a high-strung eight-year-old who had just been given carte blanche at the concessions counter.

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again: B
Another enjoyable Mama Mia movie. Perhaps a little less humor than the first but also a bit more touching. Like its predecessor, it is a simple, happy time spent on a Mediterranean island with music and dancing. What’s not to like?

Mission: Impossible – Fallout: B+
Did you know that this series is now 22 years old? I wonder how many more they will do. I suspect for however long Tom Cruise can run (or until he kills himself doing one of his own stunts).

Really, I think Cruise will do these into his 70s. Why not? Mission Impossible is always a fun ride. It hits every trope, but you kind of want it to. It is the comfort food you expect in summer movie going.

See you next month!

Maybe.


This article was first posted on Salt Lake Film Review.

June's Movie Picks!

Summer is here!  So, I saw a fair number of movies this month.  Here are my grades-

First Reformed:  D+

This story involves a priest who is wrestling with the environmental issues of our day; as well as various levels of faith crisis.  It is slow.  It is plodding.  It meanders.

I can usually deal with all of that if there is some good dialog sprinkled in (there wasn’t) or if there is a satisfying conclusion (there REALLY wasn’t).

I don’t consider too many movies a waste of my time, but this one was.  Too bad, because it posed some good questions.


Upgrade:  B+

I was pleasantly surprised by this movie.  I hadn’t heard much about it and it just quietly dropped into our local theater.  I assumed it was going to be some late night, SyFy channel quality future flick.  Instead, it was a well-done combo of The Crow and Robocop with the tone of a Black Mirror episode.


Hereditary:  B+

I haven’t had a movie creep me out this much since The Babadook.   So many horror flicks go for the cheap pop-outs to make you jump.  Hereditary takes time through story and character development to unnerve and unsettle you before it goes to the real work of scaring you.


Tag:  B

A very fun comedy (based on true events) about a group of middle age friends who are continuing a game of tag started in childhood.  A lot of funny moments and worthwhile laughs.  It did seem to struggle with how seriously it wanted to take itself and I found that occasional indecision distracting.  Overall though, they landed the story well.


Hotel Artemis:  B-

I was probably affected by all of the bad press I saw about this movie before seeing it.  I had low expectations walking in but I ended up rather liking it.

I can understand some of the complaints.  There were a number of absurd and/or contradictory plot points.  The story sometimes lacked flow.

However, I really like a lot of the actors in this movie and I found I enjoyed their characters as they worked through the story.

When I zoom out, I see the problems.  When I zoom in, I enjoy the performances.


Incredibles 2:  A-

A worthy successor to the first movie.  It was enjoyable from beginning to end.

It only needed one more element to really push it to the top tier – an engaging villain.  The villain in this movie was not bad… but was bland.


Won’t You Be My Neighbor:  A-

Thoroughly enjoyable documentary about Fred Roger’s PBS show.  The man was the Gandhi of children’s television.  I was inspired, I cried, and was shocked to find out that he had critics.


Jurassic World- Fallen Kingdom: C-

In an earlier review, I described Death Wish as cinematic fast food – sometimes you want something quick and satisfying.  Fallen Kingdom is like fast food… that you have had for the past five days in a row.  There was nothing new or original in this movie.  Jurassic Park has hit its Pirates of the Caribbean stride.  They will churn these out as long as people keep buying tickets but don’t expect any story effort from here on in.

Also, be aware that this one is more gruesome than previous Jurassic offerings.


Uncle Drew:  C

Well… I wasn’t bored.  It just rarely made me laugh.  If you saw the preview, that is the movie.  It was the Blues Brothers for old basketball players.  They spent most of the movie getting the team back together, but with none of the memorable one-liners.


This article first appeared at Salt Lake Film Review.

May Was A Little Thin

You may be used to my monthly sum-ups by now, but I will tell you that May was a little thin.  I only have 3 new movies to comment on.  I went to the movies a grand total of 5 times, but two of those were repeats.

On the topic of repeats, Moviepass has now declared that a no-no.  Overall, not a big deal to me, but I do take it as one more indication that they are not long for this world.

I did slip in one more repeat before the hammer fell.  I woke early one Saturday morning to see folks bemoaning the fact on Facebook that their Moviepass had updated overnight and now was informing them on their listings that, "You have already seen this movie." 

I don't auto-update, but I figured it was just a matter of time before they forced the issue.  So I grabbed a quick shower and headed out to the first showing of Avengers.  They forced the update just after I bought my ticket.

Whew!

But I have already reviewed Avengers, so let's get to the few new offerings I did view in the month of May.

Overboard:  C+

I like the storyline of this movie overall and it had a few good laughs - but not nearly as many as one needs to make a comedy work.  In many ways, I feel this would have fit better as a family movie on the Hallmark channel.

Anna Faris is just darling in this movie and she carried it for me.  However, Eugenio Derbez's character as the rich brat with amnesia, duped into thinking he was her husband, was disjointed to the point of distraction.  Sometimes the role seemed to fit him like a glove; at other times it could not have felt more awkward.

Faris's daughters in the movie were charming.  I think the movie would have been better served by giving them more screen time with Derbez.

I can't give it high marks, but it was worth a view.

Deadpool 2:  A-

I love it when a sequel comes together.  DP2 built on everything that was successful in the original.  Reynolds dry, sarcastic humor is non-stop in this movie - and for me, that just works.  I laughed more in any given 15 minutes of DP2 than I did in all of Overboard.

In addition, the movie has the potential for a broader appeal than I thought.  My wife decided to join my son and I on our Deadpool run.  She is not much into movies, fuzzy on most pop culture, and clueless on comic/nerd references.  Yet, she loved this movie.

Maybe she just digs Ryan Reynolds.

Solo:  B-

At this point, seeing Star Wars movies is a bit like homework.  I am a fan from the old days, so I gotta see it.  However, nothing since the original 3 has been satisfying.  Solo proved to be no different.

It is... ok.  There wasn't anything I disliked about it per se, but there was nothing all that engaging either.  It felt at times that the writers had a checklist of things they dutifully needed to hit and did so.  Donald Glover as Lando was probably the highlight.

Kevin Feige is in charge of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  He has given direction to the arc of their (presently) 19 movies.  I feel Star Wars needs that kind of oversight.

I plan to hit more movies in the month of June, so hopefully, my commentary will be more plentiful next month.

This article was originally posted at Salt Lake Film Review.

America That Was

A few years ago, my son (14) and I watched the mini-series "11/22/63".  In the story, James Franco goes back in time in an attempt to stop the Kennedy assassination.

There are a number of scenes that depict the racism and sexism of the time.  In one instance, a black woman runs out of gas and walks 12 blocks to a service station.  The attendant refuses to service her and points her to a station a mile away that will serve "her kind".

My son was taken aback by these scenes.  He could not wrap his head around such blatant inhumanity.

It reminded me of a conversation he and I had a few years earlier.  Utah's 10th court was deciding whether gay marriage would be allowed in our state.  There was a leader from the LDS church on the radio stating why the church stood against gay marriage.  My son was concerned about how this would affect friends of ours who had been married in a state that honored gay marriages.  He asked me, "What does the church want?  For them to get a divorce?"

I envy the clarity and openness my children have on these issues.  I did not start to work on things like equality until I was in my 30s.  Even now, approaching 50, I find I am still digging out roots of bad thinking.  For my kids, seeing clearer on issues of race, gender, and equality seems so much more second nature.

My kids give me hope for a better future.  We will need it because many Americans have forgotten where we came from.  They seem eager to undo our progress and send us back to a time when it was acceptable to point to a sign and say, "We don't serve your kind here!"

 

Movie Review: The Views of April

Well, the month of April flew by and I only made it out to the movies 8 times.  It takes someone with Moviepass to say that number in the diminutive sense.  In fact, I repeated 2 movies, so there are only 6 quick takes this month.  Note: Moviepass is now limiting cardholders to one viewing, but I grabbed a repeat of Avengers before they forced my app upgrade.

Isle of Dogs: B

The word that comes to mind for Isle of Dogs is charming.  I found this movie a treat to watch.  The story was acceptable, but where the movie really shines is in its visuals and music.  Plus… there are lots of dogs.

A Quiet Place: B+

This is one of those movies that could have, and should have, been an A.  However, I found some of the plot holes distracting.  In addition, this movie had such wonderful, natural tension that they did not need to go for the “make you jump” moments of which lesser horror movies avail themselves.  Yet they did.  Frequently.

Setting those things aside, there is much in this movie to love.  The silence is amazing and it spreads to the audience.  I was in a packed theater where it was so quiet, you could almost hear peoples’ fingers digging into their armrests.  There is little dialogue, so the actors rely on their face and eyes to deliver their message.  This unique approach is so engaging, I had to see it again.

Truth or Dare: C-

Remember when I mentioned lesser horror films?  Have you seen the movie where young people get picked off one by one?  Then you have seen this.  Still, it gets a C level grade because I was entertained.  It had been a long day, I had my bucket of popcorn, and I was sitting in a theater watching a movie that was predictable to a fault, but I never looked at my watch.

Chappaquiddick: B

I knew the general details of this story from a documentary I saw once on the Kennedy’s.  In short, Senator Ted Kennedy got drunk and drove into a river.  The young woman accompanying him was drowned.

The movie takes you through the days following.  It was a hard view.  I was frustrated watching the wealthy and powerful decide how they were going to handle the situation politically.  There were few voices interested in truth or responsibility – just spin.  It is a well-made movie and I think everyone should see it.  Though you probably won’t enjoy it.

Rampage: B-

I know I will probably take some crap for putting this movie in the B range but I liked it.  What can I say? I am a sucker for movies that use gorillas to pull at your heart-strings.  Honestly, I liked it better than Jumanji.

Avengers Infinity War: A-

Waiting for April 27 was like waiting for Christmas when I was a kid.  I am all-in for the Marvel movies and this Avengers’ installment did not disappoint.

I have said it before that the fulcrum of movies like this is the bad guy.  If you do not have an engaging character on the other side of the balance, the movie will seem hollow (e.g. Steppenwolf).  The low-key delivery of every Thanos line nailed it for me.  In addition, he had a decent cadre of lackeys backing him up.

On the hero side, pretty much everyone delivered.  RDJ’s Tony Stark gets better with every movie.  Thor is finally fun to watch.  Bruce Banner’s performance anxiety was hilarious.  Dr. Strange is the perfect counterbalance to Iron Man.  If I commented on every hero in the movie, this would no longer be a short review.  Suffice to say that, after 19 MCU movies, I want Marvel to keep taking my money!


This article was originally posted at Salt Lake Film Review.

Movie Review: March Movie Madness

I saw 11 movies in the month of March. I think that may be my personal best- it’s good to set goals for yourself. So, which were the winners and losers? Here are my short takes:

The Greatest Showman: A-
I saw this movie in the theater 5 times. Loved the music, loved the dancing, loved the characters. For me, a darn near perfect movie.

Death Wish: B- 
I actually did a full review for this, but the short version is I liked it. If you go in expecting a Bruce Willis/action/popcorn flick, you won’t be disappointed.

Red Sparrow: C 
It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good either. There were a few things that worked, but a lot that didn’t.

Tomb Raider: C- 
I had higher hopes for this one. It doesn’t look like a straight to video production, but it felt like a straight to video production.

Black Panther: B+
I did a full review of this one too. A wonderful addition to the Marvel line.

Pacific Rim: Uprising: C  
If it were not the sequel to an unexpectedly well-crafted predecessor, I might have liked it more. However, it just felt like warmed-over leftovers.

Love, Simon: A- 
I hesitate to give this such a high grade because I have only seen it once. I usually reserve the A grade for movies which I can watch repeatedly and never get bored. However, I suspect Love, Simon is going to do that for me. A well written and superbly acted drama with excellent pacing; loved it!

Thoroughbreds: B 
This movie was off-kilter and disturbing, so I hesitate to say I liked it. However, I was intrigued by it. It almost had a Fight Club vibe.

Unsane: B-
This was another movie that I can’t exactly say I liked, but it kept me engaged. During the first third of the movie, the plot came to a fork in the road. They went one way, but I thought the other path would have been more interesting (and believable). I’ll refrain from spoilers.

A Wrinkle in Time: D+
I knew from the preview that this movie was not going to work for me. It had some wonderful visuals and a Hamilton quote that made me smile, but that could not save it from its plodding and pedestrian plotline.

Ready Player One: B+
The trailer made me afraid that they were going to deviate substantially from the book, and they did.  Still, they managed to keep the heart of the book intact. In the end, I was very satisfied. I don’t think I could watch this repeatedly and not get bored, but I will see it multiple times.  If nothing else, it will take a number of views just to spot all of the cool pop culture references.



This article was originally posted at Salt Lake Film Review.

Movie Review: Death Wish (2018)

I am sitting here watching the Oscars –– my version of the Superbowl –– and I felt the need to write Death Wish a review. There is not one point of this movie that will ever end up on an Oscar nomination list, but I still liked it.

Full disclosure, I am almost fifty. I grew up on Bronson and Eastwood flicks that had lots of shooting. Throughout my teens, popcorn flicks with Schwarzenegger and Stallone littered the screens. So, when Willis does a remake of a Bronson classic, yeah, I’m in.

This movie is my fast food. I am hungry, going from Point A to Point B, and I need a drive-thru. There is better and worse drive-thru, and there is better and worse in the mindless action category. Death Wish falls into the better part of the menu.

If you have seen the trailer, you have seen the movie. Successful doctor’s family gets injured or killed by thugs. Feeling frustrated in his helplessness, the doctor gets a gun and looks for some payback.

Really, that is it. You don’t have to worry about spoilers because there is nothing to spoil.  The one left turn I thought they might take in this movie, they didn’t take.

Death Wish leads you exactly where you are expecting you to go. The drive-thru is handing you two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onion, on a sesame seed bun. No surprises. The question is, will that make you happy right now?

For me, the answer was yes. The last twenty seconds of the film hinted at a sequel and I am looking forward to it.


This review originally appeared at Salt Lake Film Review.

Movie Review: Black Panther

I always like someone to tell me the bad news first. Give me that, so I can move on. So, for Black Panther, here it is – Black Panther is a very good movie!

That may not sound like bad news but I bought into the hype. When the critics’ commentaries started rolling in, they were stellar. Words like “masterpiece” were generously used. As much as I tried to not let that influence me, it did.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed the movie and am excited about the potential of these characters and what they bring to the Marvel Cinematic Universe – and it is the characters that make this movie shine.

Like Nolan’s Batman movies, Black Panther has such a deep bench of interesting players, one can almost forget who has the center seat.

First among them is Michael B. Jordan as Killmonger. I maintain that every successful movie has a bad guy that you are kind of rooting for, and Jordan brings this in spades. Killmonger’s charisma spills over in every scene. Though corrupted, his agenda has a moral arc that pulls at your sympathies.

Then there is the Black Panther’s posse. One of the many enjoyable aspects of this movie is how much he relies on his team. He is not the smartest in the room, that position goes to his sister Shuri, who is much like Q from the Bond movies. She keeps T’Challa equipped with the best gadgets Wakanda has to offer.

Nor is T’Challa the greatest warrior. That title seems to fall to the captain of his guard, Okoye. She and her troops out Amazon Wonder Woman’s Amazons. I was riveted by the tension she created when wrestling with to what degree her duty to the king of Wakanda outweighed her duty to its people.

Nakia, who has T’Challa’s heart, serves as his conscience. She has left the safety and security of Wakanda to be of service to the needy in the world at large. Throughout the story, she prods the Black Panther to consider serving the whole of humanity.

Beyond that, there are a number of minor characters but none of them are throwaways. Each adds pertinent puzzle pieces to the story which provides a rich tapestry.

So you may be wondering about the lead character. Chadwick Boseman brings the gravitas of a monarch. He is the King and you never doubt it. Beyond that, he has a moral compass that does not flinch. He is the leader in whom you put your confidence. The Black Panther is similar to Captain America in that sense, but with clear differences. He is not a boy scout and he is not a soldier. He is the ruler of a nation, perhaps more comparable to King Arthur. He does not have the luxury of being an individual, he belongs to his people.

As the Marvel Cinematic Universe closes its first decade and starts another, I see the Black Panther and his supporting characters being at the foundation of where they go next. This was a good start, but I suspect the best is yet to come.


This review originally appeared at Salt Lake Film Review.

MoviePass Goodness!

Back in August, I started seeing articles about this company that would let you see a movie a day for only 10 dollars a month.  This sounded like a typical scam scenario on the internet... if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

However, after reading about it on some reputable sites, I decided to give it a try.  The worst I would be out is 10 bucks.

It took about 5 weeks to get my card, much longer than they had promised. But I was also aware that there were scores of folks like me jumping on board for the first time, and this little company was probably being overwhelmed.

My Moviepass came in September and I was excited, but still very skeptical.  The program seemed straightforward enough - one standard 2d movie per day for 10 dollars a month.  But seriously!  How could they afford to do this?  One movie for the month was essentially paid for by me... and the rest of the time THEY were going to cover it?  Surely I am missing some point in the fine print.

So, off to the movies I went.  To get this to work, you have to be within 100 yards of the theater.  Then you open the app and check in to the movie you want to see - at which point a timer starts, giving you 30 minutes to go buy your ticket.

I didn't expect it to work.  I swiped my card at the ticket kiosk... the kiosk indicated I had a bad card.  Figures, I really couldn't imagine this was legit.  I was about to step away when I remembered that a lot of card readers can fail on a swipe.  So, I tried it again.  The kiosk hesitated, then spit out my ticket.

I just stared at the ticket for a minute.  "No... WAY!" I said out loud.  I felt like I had just gained a super-power.

Since that day, I have seen about 34 movies (8 or 9 a month).

I still don't know how Moviepass can do this.  In fact, it got cheaper.  I bought an annual pass which brought my price down to 7.50 a month.

I wrote a note on a MoviePass FB page talking about how MP has changed my theater-going experience.

I went from one movie every month or two to two or more movies a week.

That means I now buy concessions... something I never did before. I am still cheap... I bought the annual popcorn bucket, which was never financially worth it before given how often I went to the theater.

I see movies by myself a lot... and I love it. Moviegoing is much more spontaneous now... and it is often too cumbersome to find someone who can grab a show on the quick. The theater has been my go-to activity when I have a few hours to kill.

I skip the previews. They used to be a highlight, but now that movie time is eating up more of my week, skipping those saves me some time... plus, I usually have already seen them.

I watch a wider selection. I used to reserve going to the theater for blockbusters... dramas and comedies just didn't seem worth the expense to fork over for the big screen.

I have realized I get more out of the movie at the theater. At home, I am distracted. I am usually working on something as I watch, or the phone rings, or someone wants to ask me something, etc. At the theater, the movie has my undivided attention.

Here are the movies I have seen so far.  The MP app keeps a history, but that function cut out for a bit in November and I am not sure that it got all of my movies added back correctly.  However, these ones I am sure about.

It (2x)
Wind River
American Assassin
Brad's Status
Kingsman 2
Blade Runner 2049
Happy Death Day
American Made
Marshall (2x)
Halloween
Thor (2x)
The Foreigner
Goodbye Christopher Robin
The Man Who Invented Christmas
Justice League (2x)
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Coco (2x)
The Disaster Artist
Star Wars Last Jedi
Ferdinand
Shape of Water
Darkest Hour
Jumanji
The Greatest Showman
Lady Bird
Molly's Game
I, Tonya
Downsizing

My popcorn intake is off the charts and will probably need to be regulated if I want to celebrate my 50th birthday next year.  I don't know how much longer this ride will last, but I am going to strike while the iron is hot!

I have been to the movies more in the past 4 months than I had in the past 4 years.

Watch Your Language Cap!

The Deseret News is a Utah newspaper owned by the LDS church.  As such, the newspaper has a highly edited feel.  It's not just bluntly conservative it's... churchy...

This week the entertainment columnist, Chris Hicks, took Captain America to task for swearing in The Avengers: Age of Ultron.  He writes:

The first scenes of “Avengers: Age of Ultron” drop the audience into the middle of a chaotic battle, and that is where most of the film’s witty quips are frontloaded — a highlight being a gag about goody two-shoes Captain America being offended when Iron Man curses.

Cap admonishes Iron Man over their communications system, saying, “Language!”

As a result, for the rest of the movie Cap is the butt of jokes about cuss words — until, at the end, he finally lets go with a profane phrase of his own.

Wow. Isn't that a great lesson for young people in the audience? If you are ridiculed for taking the moral high ground, by all means just let down your guard, violate your principles and join the crowd.

Mr. Hicks falls into a typical, self-serving, religious trap. Swear words, cuss words, whatever you want to call them are not moral markers. A person is no more moral for saying them than they are for not saying them. To indicate so is to cheapen morality.

Swear words fall into the realm of mores... social customs. In this or that society certain words or phrases may be considered impolite or rude... but those are only constructs which vary from time to time and location to location.

If I were to say, "Da*n! that is a f**king good pastry!" I may offend your sensibilities, but I have done you no HARM. It is wrong to equalize offense with harm. It is an injustice to people who have truly been wronged.

So why is it self serving? It allows the person who holds such a position to think themselves to be on a moral "high-ground", when in fact... they have DONE nothing. To claim a moral position due to a lack of cuss words in your vocabulary is cheap, and it is lazy.

Review: Hellbound? - A Documentary About Hell

I finally got around to watching Hellbound. Hellbound is a documentary, that looks at how the doctrine of Hell is viewed in Christianity.  In it, various clergy and theologians are interviewed for their take on God and Hell. As an ex-evangelical, I enjoyed it.

There is a good sampling of people and I think all of the views were honestly represented without much spin.  There were folks who were pro-Hell and others who leaned to a more universalistic end. Though it is obvious the director wants to point you to a universalistic end, he is fair to the other opinions.

Much of the theology is represented by various folks within evangelical circles. Greg Boyd and Mark Driscoll are interviewed, rather than Catholic priests and Lutherans.

As an atheist, what was clear to me was that each person's "god" was a reflection of their own personalities. It was no wonder that to the folks of Westboro Baptist, "God" pretty much hated everybody. On the other end, the universalists who wanted to love everyone, had a god who would save everyone.

Look in the mirror, and God looks just like you.

What Harry Said To Voldermort

I have been watching the Harry Potter movies with my son over the past few weeks while he has been finishing up the book series.  As he read through Book 7, there were times he would just set down the book, stare blankly at it, and sigh heavily.

I knew what he was feeling.

The last time he did that, as he neared the end of book, I asked him, "Fred?"

He looked up at the ceiling, ".......yeah......"

We watched the final movie tonight. I had forgotten what a good job they had done with it.  I commented to Jake that I thought they got everything right but the final fight with Voldermort.

Jake agreed, "They should have kept in what Harry said to Voldermort.... that was important..."

It is probably self centered of me, but I love that Jake loved those books.

I recall that, in a previous post, I had thanked Ms. Rowling for all that her books had given me over the years.  Let me also add a thank you as a father, for what you have given my son.

Movie Review: Calvary

I am listening to the soundtrack for Calvary as I write this. There are few movies for which I enjoy the soundtrack as much as this one. It is haunting, moving, and beautiful.

The movie, for me, was a mixed bag.  It stars Brendan Gleeson as a Catholic priest who maintains a parish on a costal town in Ireland. Gleeson's performance was magnificent.

Calvary sets up the tension early. The opening scene is in a confessional. The confessor informs the priest that it his intention to kill him at the end of the week. The confessor explains the sexual abuse that was done to him by a priest as a child. He has no desire to kill a bad priest.  He wants to end the life of a good and innocent priest so he may take from the church as the church took from him. He gives the priest the week to put his affairs in order.

Gleeson's priest, rather than protecting himself or going to the police, goes on about his priestly duties. We spend the week with him as he interacts with his parishioners and walks with his visiting, suicidal, daughter. We learn that the priest entered the order as an older man, following the death of his wife.

All of this takes place in beautiful settings. The film work is wonderful. The dialogue is engaging. The music is exceptional.

But Calvary has a substantial weak spot.

The townspeople and his parishioners. They were all just... well, awful.  By that I mean that none of the characters had likeable qualities. They were all broken people... but they were broken without any depth. There was nothing there with which to empathize. For all of the fullness of Gleeson's priest, those he dealt with were caricatures.

This is a painful movie.  I was not satisfied, but it made me think... and I am still pondering. 

Go see it... but once will probably be enough.

Movie Review: Amazing Spiderman 2

What a mess!

All I could think throughout the movie was.... what a mess!

Spoilers ahead... this is only for folks who equally want to complain about this movie.

I felt the first movie was rushed. Sony had to get the ball rolling or surrender all those merchandising rights and it felt like a movie that was thrown together.  However, I was hoping for round 2, Spider-man would find his footing.

No such luck... I actually think this movie was worse than the first. Here is my list of gripes:

• Opening scene was overly long and in the end pointless... 
• I knew in the first fight scene that they were setting up the Rhino, and he was a detestable moron.  Really, you are going to entrust that suit to that guy?
• Every character, from Electro to Aunt May, was riddled with angst... but it ALL seemed so contrived.
• The setup clues for Peter to find his Dad's train were ridiculous... and finding the train was even more ridiculous.
• I just could not get into Electro... almost every word he uttered grated on my nerves.
• There was no sense of development to the Green Goblin... and he just looked and acted like someone who showed up late for the party and was not sure why he had been invited.
• The only characters who had any chemistry in this movie were Peter and Gwen... and they did nothing with it.

Ughhhhh!

What did you think?

The Missing Element

     

The first full trailer was released for Man of Steel today.  I am geeked to see it, no doubt.  Still, the trailer was missing something... that heart expanding score!  You know it!  There is something about those horns blaring out that classic Williams' theme that causes the adrenaline to kick in!

It made me think think about other movies of recent years.  To be honest, a lot of great movies lately have lacked an easily recognizable, tell-tale theme,  that begins playing in your mind's memory at the merest mention of the movie title.  When I was a kid, associating a movie with its score was normal.

For example, clear your mind and think of:

Rocky

You heard it, didn't you?  Now try:

Star Wars

Or how about:

Raiders of the Lost Ark

Heck, even:

Halloween

The list could go on:  Star Trek, Jaws, Close Encounters, ET, James Bond.....

You left the theater humming the tunes of these movies.  I remember walking home from the Hampton theater in Rochester as a kid, trying to keep the Raiders of the Lost Ark theme in my head.

However, it seems a lot of the super-hero and modern sci-fi flicks are lacking in this department.  I enjoyed Thor and Captain America... but I couldn't hum two bars of their themes.  The Avengers may have been one of the best comic book films to date... but nada on the the music score.  Inception was amazing... do you remember a tune?  Me neither.  Harry Potter is memorable... but I am reaching all the way back to 2001 for that one.

Has the score for  a movie become less important... or is my view slanted by age?