For Me, Not For Thee

A Facebook group I am in is arguing over religious freedoms presently.  Someone had posted a Christian prayer.  Some folks said it was off-topic and perhaps should be posted in a religiously themed group.  Others argued for free speech and religious freedoms.

Here is the part I saw coming a mile off- Shortly after the prayer post, someone posted the Seven Tenets of the Satanic Temple. Predictably, many of the same folks defending the prayer had the dead opposite reaction to the 7 tenets. Comments such as "small-minded", "loser", "grow the phuck up", "shame on you", "disturbing", etc.

I don't know what the real-life percentages are... but in my experience, those who most often shout for religious liberties are usually only doing so for their sub-group.  They have little real interest in religious liberty as a fundamental right... rather, they use it selectively as a shield to protect their interests.

The most perfect example of the 180 people can do came from a person who said,

"To all that criticized the religious post… I mean seriously, couldn’t you just scroll by?"

However, on the Satanic Temple post, she commented,

"You should grow the phuck up, you’re behaving like a spoiled child. Shame on you"

Moving the goal posts is a real and regular thing.

Playing the Odds

"Never tell me the odds." ~ Han Solo

Lots of our positions on issues are based on anecdotes.  This or that happened to myself or a friend... and therefore I feel such and so.

Someone demonstrated this on a Facebook post of mine recently.  What I and an article I posted said negatively regarding Evangelicals wasn't true because... he knows Evangelicals who aren't that way.  Of course, if most Evangelicals were like the ones he knows... we wouldn't have Trump.

I don't own a gun.  A gun enthusiast friend of mine told me, "If someone breaks into your house, you are gonna wish you had a gun!"

He's right.  In such a moment, I will wish I had a gun.

But that does change the reality of the odds... therefore, it does not change my decision regarding gun ownership.  The odds say that a gun in my home will hurt or kill an innocent person loooong before it ever protects me from a criminal.

If someone tells me, "I will give you a thousand dollars if you roll 1-4 on a die or I will give you a thousand for a 5-6 roll, but you can only choose one option" - I would choose the 1-4.  Yes, if I roll a six I will have a pang of regret.  But, given another opportunity, I would still choose the 1-4.  Someone telling me that when they rolled they got a 5 would not change my decision.

Humans often ignore hard math due to anecdotes.  This is a bug, not a feature.

Facebook Faith #58: God Brings Trials?

I regularly see my religious friends post on Facebook about the various trials they are going through... and how God has brought these to teach and refine them.

If one has an all-powerful deity, I suppose that is the most charitable way you could frame your deity's involvement in the pains and sufferings of your life.

I used to think that way, but I left the faith life about 8 years ago. Here's the thing - the same amount of fortune and frustration occur in my life now as ever did before. Cutting God loose in my life did not end "blessings" nor remove a "hedge of protection". Life is moving on pretty much as it always had.

But honestly, I do find the hard times easier to bear without an extra set of footprints in the sand. I now know those valleys are just... life. And life happens. There is no deity causing this calamity to instruct me or to punish me. I no longer add stress to the situation by obsessing over the tea leaves, trying to figure out what God is trying to show me or where I went wrong to allow the Devil this foothold in my life.

I also find taking the focus off of unseen spirits has given me a greater appreciation for the people traveling our common path. THEY are the ones who help me through the trials. THEY are the ones who offer me kindness.

Believers often wonder how those who do not believe in gods have hope during the hard times.

Personally, I have found it much easier.

Full Disclosure: I Am Racist

A regular complaint I  hear from some of my fellow white people on Facebook is that they are sick of being called racist.  They often make this complaint between their posts about the Confederate flag and various derogatory observations concerning black people and Mexicans.

My first thought is that, in general, I am not accused of being a racist.  I won't say it has never happened but it is not so frequent that I have put it on my list of topics to refute.  So, if this is something you are feeling a little singled out about, you might want to consider that maybe underneath all of your annoyance with the accusation, you are just reacting negatively to a fair description.

Second, I don't think this is an accusation one should run from.  I don't.  I am racist.

I am also bigoted, homophobic, sexist, and an ageist. There is hardly a week that goes by where I do not unfairly categorize someone.  I often do not give individuals proper respect based on some prejudicial notion swimming around in my head.  The truth is I give favor to the people who most resemble me and suspicion to those least like me.

Now I don't beat myself up over this too much.  Evolution has developed us as pattern makers and conditioned us to be tribal.  It is our default setting.  However, natural is not always best.  Many recovery programs list admitting you have a problem as paramount.  I admit I am all these things... because I don't want to be any of them.

It would be arrogance to deny these states of being in my life.  What?  Would I really think a little enlightenment given to me over the years would change century upon century of societal inertia?  Would having a gay or black friend uproot all the paths of thinking that were laid out for me before I was even born?

So if you find yourself being annoyed at being called racist, I have news for you - it's true.  But don't lose hope, now you know- and as we learned from G.I. Joe, "Knowing is half the battle".  What you do with that knowledge will determine how you tend to be known.

Facebook Faith # 57 - Less of Me...

A friend of mine on Facebook posted, "What Would Actually Make You Happy?" He is a religious man, so many of the responses were of a religious nature.

One of the responses made my heart heavy. A gentleman replied:

"Less of me..."

It was painful to read because I know that is exactly how I would have answered that question throughout most of the time I was a believer. In conservative Evangelical theology, you are seen as bringing nothing to the table, everything is about what God does. The only thing preventing God from doing his best for you and in you is you. With such a view of one's relationship to the divine, self-disparaging comments become the norm.

Growing up, sermons from the pulpit, bible studies, and song lyrics constantly drove home the message that I was, inherently, the problem. These lines were typical of the Christian bands I listened to as a believer:

"I know how I ought to be. Alive to You and dead to me."

" More of Jesus, less of me."

" I am nothing! So I lay down and cry for mercy."

I recently moved my entire music collection over to a USB drive for my car. Even still, most of my music collection is Christian Rock. I tried listening to some old songs as I drove around town. Though I could still enjoy the music, the lyrics tended to be so... depressing, that I just had to turn it off. It was just weird listening to a good tune where the lyrics repeated how awful everyone is.

The above meme was posted by another believing friend of mine. I sigh when I read things like that.

You are not the villain. Happiness will not come from there being less of you.

The answers will not be found in tearing down "you".

What I have discovered since leaving the life of faith a few years back is that happiness and peace develop as I am becoming my best self.

The Function of Apologetics

I have few evangelical Christians in my life or on my Facebook page anymore.  However, the other day one of them made a comment regarding Yahweh, Hillary Clinton, and abortion. Hillary was bad because of her pro-choice position.  I commented on his page that, Yahweh does not serve as a good moral contrast, citing Deuteronomy 21 where Yahweh instructs his followers to stone their children if they are stubborn and rebellious.

Another friend interjected that I was taking that verse out of context (no one ever complains about context when the pleasant stuff is quoted). She provided a link to an article that explained why that verse didn't really say what it seemed to say. I responded:

As I read through that article, it does little to alleviate the severity of that scripture. For me, at the end of the day, there is no context where I am going to watch the stoning of a child and walk away with an explanation that would justify it to me.

I suspect that when a Christian reads a similar scripture in the Koran, an apologetic explanation would carry no further for them either. They would read it and find it horrific, regardless of explanations their Muslim friend might offer them.

I live in the heart of Mormondom. My evangelical friends have dozens of critiques of Mormon scriptures and history – and Mormons have an answer for every one of them (e.g. http://en.fairmormon.org/Joseph_Smith/Polygamy). Do those answers work? For the Mormon, yes… but not for the evangelical.

The function of apologetics is not to change the mind of the unbeliever- it is to quiet the mind of the believer. No matter the religious stripe, a believer will readily accept an explanation that holds zero water for someone outside the faith. Why? Because the believer is already 95% convinced. They just need the assurance that somewhere out there, the question has been asked and answered. With that assurance in mind, they can proceed along the path – calm and content.

It was the same for me back when I was a believer. The shift came when I began to apply the same standards of judgment to my own religion as well as to others. If something was unacceptable for another religion, then it had to be unacceptable for mine. No longer would I use one set of rules for my beliefs and a different set for the belief of the other. Goal posts did not get to change location depending on whose side was being defended.

I encourage everyone to use the same measure for your faith that you do for others. If you are giving your faith a pass, give that same pass to other faiths. If you have a criticism of another faith, use that same scale for your own.

Rather than engaging my thoughts on the article, she replied, "You are an apostate so I expect that from you."

This exchange was a reminder of why I rarely engage these kinds of exchanges anymore. Outside the evangelical sphere I am a father, teacher, friend, husband, actor, singer, writer, etc. Inside the evangelical sphere there is no need to look any further than apostate.

Her shared article served its purpose. It did nothing to change the mind of this unbeliever, but it soothed her believing mind and halted any possible questions right there.

Love God - Love Your Loved Ones Less

Yesterday, my brother shared an article on Facebook concerning Evangelical pastor Francis Chan's challenge for Christians to stop idolizing their family and put Christ's mission first. He asked for his readers' thoughts. After perusing the article, I wrote:

"A: Chan believes anyone who does not "have a relationship" with his god will be tortured for eternity by said god - so out the gate, I am convinced that his view of god is going to be harmful to humanity. Ergo any thought he has to add about how a believer should go about spiritual pursuits, in my view, is going to be highly suspect.

B. Chan is encouraging you to put the most important relationships of your life on the back burner so you can go out and... well, at this point it gets vague... be radical, and all out, and live over the edge! This too will probably end badly. Not for Chan, Chan will get awesome book deals and speaking engagements out of this. He will get lots of perks.

The followers of Chan? Not so much. They will probably mess up relationships, wax and wane between guilt and euphoria until something gives, and make a lot of financial and life decisions with no more consideration than a role of the dice.

My challenge to Christians... stop idolizing... period."

Then this morning, I read an article by Libby Anne over at Love, Joy, Feminism, where she shared about growing up with that evangelical mindset of near paranoia about making sure everything and everyone in your life was undervalued when compared to God.

"I also remember worrying that I loved my family more than I loved God. I was taught that this was wrong—that it made my family idols. I felt so conflicted over this, and purposed time and again to love God more than I loved my parents or siblings."

Reading both of those articles made me reflect on how real that topic was to me growing up. I regularly saw folks give up various past times and pleasures because they were concerned these things were becoming an "idol" in their life. I many times abandoned enjoyments, passed on opportunities, or sabotaged relationships because I thought these things would "hinder my walk with God". Jesus needed to be ultimate (whatever that meant) and nothing could even be a close second.

One of the musical heroes in my circles growing up was named Keith Green. I lived and worked at Green's ministry for 6 months when I was 18.  He wrote a song where he pointed out that everything in his life took 2nd place to Jesus. Keith speaks of his marriage in this way:

"As I told her when we wed, I'd surely rather be found dead, than to love her more than the one who saved my soul."

There was a time when I heard that song and that line and felt it was a powerful testimony of dedication to Jesus - now I see it as a dysfunctional mess.

Imagine a husband insisting to his wife that she love him more than the children. Contemplate what kind of mother would tell a daughter that, if the daughter loved her brother more, then the daughter was unworthy of her mother's love.

Does any reasonable person consider this jealous, competitive perspective in any way loving?

My Journey to Atheism - Part 2

Here is part 2 of my discussion with my brother about leaving the faith. We talk about why I couldn't stop at Agnosticism and what effect this all had on my family. If you haven't listened to Part 1 yet, you can find it here:  Part 1

My Journey to Atheism - Part 1

I want to recommend to you my brother's podcast. Steve is a Christian believer whose faith journey has led him to ... more open pastures ... in the past half dozen years. Steve and I have both gone through a lot of changes over our decades as brothers, but no matter where we were politically, philosophically, or religiously, we have always managed to have excellent dialogue. One reason is because Steve, at his core, is a great conversationalist and that really comes through in the podcast. Be it discussions of faith, stories from his month long walk on the Camino de Santiago, or opinions about the latest Star Wars movie, his new podcast has proven to be a worthy listen on my list.

In his latest episode, Steve interviews me about my journey from a life of faith to atheism. We talk about Hell theology, life among the Mormons, and how Evangelicals respond to diversity.  We had a great conversation, in fact, it lasted over 2 hours. So Steve split it in half and this is part one. Enjoy!

Facebook Faith #56 - St. Paul Set The Bar of Love Well

A friend on Facebook posted this page earlier today.  In general, I like it.  I think it is useful, not only for reflecting on potential life long partners, but it can be applied to ourselves as well.  I think that Paul, in 1 Corinthians 13, does a first rate job of describing love.

The interesting thing is that this practice - inserting the name of a potential life partner into the text - was a maneuver that significantly destabilized my faith.  Like the author of the shared page, I tried inserting my God in place of the word Love in 1 Corinthians 13:

• God is patient
• God is kind
• God does not envy
• God does not boast
• God is not proud
• God is not rude
• God is not self-seeking
• God is not easily angered
• God keeps no record of wrongs
• God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth
• God always protects
• God always trusts
• God always hopes
• God always perseveres
• God never fails

As I looked at that list, I realized that 1 Corinthians 13 did not describe the God of my evangelical heritage.  The God I found in the Bible was like this list sometimes, but certainly not all of the time. In fact, the more I investigated the Bible, the more I found that the god of those pages failed this test miserably.

For a while, I clung to a God that met the love standard.  So what if the god of my sacred text didn't measure up.  I could ignore the text, ignore the proclamations of other believers, ignore my own doubts.  I was like Hawkeye in MASH, desperately pounding on the chest of a dead man, clinging to the hope that my desperation could revive this patient.  I pounded on that chest for a few years.

In the end, I realized that 1 Corinthians 13 is a good list.  Paul had a moment of enlightenment and tapped into something exceptional.

Love is all of those things and is a worthy pursuit for its own sake.

Facebook Faith #55 - Christian Munchausen Syndrome

There has been a lot said in the media, particularly the conservative media, about Christian persecution. If you listen to Fox News, or the various Republican presidential candidates, you would get the impression that Christians are under attack in America.

However, when you dig past the rhetoric, you often find that how they use the word persecution tends to differ from the definition most of us use.

For example, I was reading a Facebook post regarding Al Mohler's (president of the Southern Baptists) comments that Christians should not attend the weddings of their gay family and friends. A Christian blogger posted in the comments section that Christians would be insulted by being asked to attend in the first place. The following is part of our discussion.

I know a lot of the push back to this would be that David has an extreme view and that he does not represent most of Christendom. Honestly, I don't know what the numbers are like. I know Christians of all stripes on this topic.

But here is what I do know: There are Christian mayors who think like David. There are Christian governors who think like David. There are many Christians in Congress who think like David.

Nearly all of the the Republican presidential candidates think like David.

The religious powers in the Dark Ages thought like David and much of the pain and suffering in the Middle East is being caused by religious people who think like David.

We all need to fear religion that considers the existence of the "other" an insult and a slap in the face.

Facebook Faith # 54: Theological Ideas, Like Comic Books, Have Parallel Universes

I have seen this meme come up a number of times from my Christian friends on Facebook. I struggle with whether to engage this discussion, because I usually get the Facebook equivalent of the deer in the headlights - they don't know how to address my contention, because they are not even sure what I am asking.

In the case of this meme, it seems contradictory to proclaim that using fear as a strategy is unique to the Devil. How is God threatening someone with ETERNAL torture not a fear strategy?

Yet that is what many believers will claim. They will quickly shift gears into "God loves you so much, he provided a way to avoid Hell!" Not realizing, or refusing to realize, that their Savior is also the head torturer... and which role he plays depends on whether you are on his good side, or his bad side.

Believers tend to not worry about continuity. Like comic book writers, all contradictions can be explained by making use of parallel universes. In one universe, Robin dies. In a parallel universe, Robin lives on at Batman's side. Depending on what you want your story to say at a given moment, you pull from the theological universe of your choosing.

The last church I belonged to was BIG about referencing the LOVE of God on Sunday morning. They also believe that anyone who doesn't love their God back is going to Hell... but that part is somewhat minimized.

However, it is spelled out in their belief statements. One day on FB, I pointed that out to one of my former pastors, after he did a status update proclaiming the unconditional love of God. I began by quoting their church website:

The conversation went on politely for a few more paragraphs. In the end though, he seemed to maintain his beginning assumptions.... God loves you unconditionally AND God will send you to Hell for not loving him back.

Each idea in its own, parallel, universe.

Facebook Faith #53: You Have Your Truth, I Have Mine

I have seen this posted no less than a dozen times in the past week. I agree with it on most levels, but I also see a dark side to its use.

Growing up, my faith was the one true faith. Anyone not of our faith was to be regarded as a potential convert or the enemy. Folks were out to infect THE truth and we had to guard ourselves against them. This was an easy position for leaders to promote as information for an opposing view was not readily available and fairly easy to block.

Nowadays, information is readily available and in many ways unstoppable. With these new circumstances, faith groups seem to be making a pivot in practice.  They have changed the rhetoric, while still maintaining the goal of keeping out, or at least neutering, opposing views. Now believers say, "They have their truth, we have ours." By doing so, they no longer have to deny the existence of alternative world view voices. The view can be acknowledged, but does not need to be addressed.

This is a more passive position than previous practice... but it still lets believers and their leaders continue to mantra their position as TRUE, while avoiding having to compare those claims against anything other than their own statements.

Facebook Faith #52: Supreme Court High Five!

Turning on the computer - June 26, 2015

Yesterday was a big day, and I spent a lot of it writing and reading on Facebook and various news sources.

I was, of course, happy with yesterday's ruling and it was great to see all of the celebrating going on. I was also surprised to see normally conservative folks coming out of the woodwork to back the SCOTUS on this one.

The video of S.E. Cupp on CNN was particularly interesting to me.  Not only was I unaware that she was so passionate about gay rights, but it again demonstrated the rift in the GOP.  Going to The Blaze to read a write up about that interview,  I was taken aback at how viciously the commentors spoke of her.  She was not a fellow republican with a different opinion, she was a @#$%!  Reading those reactions, and then seeing Governors like Jindal declare that they will do everything they can to resist the SCOTUS on this.... I realized we will not see another Republican president until there is a split in the party.  Old school Republicans see these new Republicans, who are more inclusive, as the enemy.

Then there was the pastor from Texas who said he would set himself on fire if gays got the right to marry.  He quickly recanted once the court ruling became known.

No one really wanted this guy to set himself on fire. However, his hyperbolic reaction is indicative of typical Religious Right behavior. Everything is always extreme, oh no the sky is falling - the world is ending, kind of responses.

The reality is, despite yesterday's events, the sun rose and life went on. I have no hope the Religious Right will ever learn to behave differently. They have been over-reacting and the world has been coming to an end since I was a little kid. They will never change. The only thing you can do is leave... which I did.

This picture from Salt Lake shows the polar ways this ruling is viewed. The Deseret News, owned by the LDS church, wonders how we go on, in an America that allows gays the same rights as everyone else.  The Tribune sees yesterday as an important, historic day.

While most of the nation celebrates, the Religious Right are planning their next strategy. Some are calling for revolution, both violent and non-violent. Others are encouraging each other to just hold their nose and try to be polite so they can demonstrate how good they are as religious people.

So much drama over something that has almost zero impact on any of them.

Facebook Faith #51: Whom Do We Thank?

Recently, my FB friend James Mulholland posted this quote and asked what people thought of it.

“The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful, and has nobody to thank.” - Dante Gabriel Rossetti

Everyday on Facebook, I see believers quickly bypass the work of their fellow humans, so they can get on with the business of lauding their god. The doctor who healed them, the chef who prepared their meal, the farmer who grew their food, the stranger who helped get their car back on the road, etc. All of these people get a footnote, while the big thanks goes to an unseen, unheard ghost whose interactions do not differ from chance.

I was guilty of this misplacement of gratitude for many years. My appreciation for my fellow travelers on the road of life grew exponentially when I started giving credit to whom the credit was due.

Facebook Faith #50 Writing Is Sacred

I write quite a bit.  I enjoy the process of writing like I enjoy a good conversation.

I believe written conversations have an advantage of being able to take time to present an issue or idea, or to formulate a response.

When someone poses questions or presents an argument to me in written format, I like being able to go through their writing multiple times, maybe even quoting from it, to make sure I have honestly and adequately addressed their thoughts.  Sometimes I will rewrite things four or five times before hitting send.

So, when someone asks me to respond to something, and I take the time to do so... only to have them delete it.... that doesn't tend to sit well with me.

This came about due to an old friend who recently friended me on Facebook.  This person is a Christian... and... well ...  when you are an atheist, you can't help but categorize your believing friends under various headings.  There is the fundamentalist asshole you keep around purely for entertainment purposes.  There are the good souls you seem to relate to in EVERY way other than their theism, so you accept each other as-is.  There are the ones who have never been particularly active in their faith, yet find it a bit disturbing that you are an atheist.

I am sure I could come up with a number of others if I sat here and thought about it, but in this case, this is the Christian who believes you left the faith because you never had exposure to REAL Christianity.  Your atheism is actually somewhat understandable, maybe even justified... because, like Coke, you just need the real thing.  If you could only go to their church, or hear this or that pastor, or read a certain book.... you would see.

In that vein, this person posted an article by Shane Claiborne and tagged me in it, asking for my thoughts.  I had read the article back when it came out in 2009, but I read it again, and then a third time before writing.

Not long after my posting, my response was deleted.

I hate when people do that... particularly if that was the only copy available of what I wrote. Fortunately, I had written this response in Word. When I asked her why she deleted it, she said that she felt my response would be troubling to many of her believing friends. She deleted and blocked me soon after.

So, since I took time to write that response, I want it to exist somewhere... so here it is.  If you have gotten this far, you may want to read the Claiborne article (it's short).  I do appreciate theologically liberal, good folks like Shane Claiborne.  However, I still find they carry a bagful of false assumptions about those not in their faith, some of which I address below. So without further ado:

I have always appreciated Shane’s generous and compassionate heart.  I think he is a humanist, and I admire that, because he is willing to put the needs of people above the dictates of his religion’s dogma (to a degree).

However, he steps into the usual misdirections most religious folks fall, in that he cannot not see outside his own perspective.  For example, from the article:

“To all my nonbelieving, sort-of-believing, and used-to-be-believing friends: I feel like I should begin with a confession. I am sorry that so often the biggest obstacle to God has been Christians. Christians who have had so much to say with our mouths and so little to show with our lives. I am sorry that so often we have forgotten the Christ of our Christianity.”

From the beginning he is clear that he sees the world with bi-polar lenses, those who see religion his way… and everybody else.  He defines everyone who does not accept his religion - by his religion.  If someone does not believe, it is because they have not heard the right message, or been to the right church.  Perhaps they have been wounded by someone in the faith.  Maybe their heart is hard or bitter toward God because of some pain in their life.  If they could just meet the Jesus he knows.

I assume Shane does not believe in Mormonism. He doesn’t believe that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God's restoration, and he doesn’t believe Mormons are God's one true church on the earth. He just doesn’t believe any of it to be true.  

However picture if a good chunk of his community and family were telling him that it isn't that he doesn’t believe it... rather, it is because he met some bad Mormons, or went to a bad ward, or just hadn’t experienced TRUE Mormonism. Shayne could try to explain that he really just didn’t believe – but they respond that his heart is hard and he should be open to what Joseph Smith might be saying to him.

He might appreciate the sincerity of these folks (the first couple dozen times) but he would still find the whole thing absurd.

I appreciate Shane’s sincerity, but I still find the whole thing absurd.

Also, it is very clear to me that, like all Christians, Shane is making up his own Jesus.  Shane says, “if you choose Jesus, may it not be simply because of a fear of hell or hope for mansions in heaven.”

He does this a few times – he has an idea of Jesus in his head that is really great… but then he runs into that scriptural Jesus who isn't always so great…  Jesus does woo with rewards and punishments… big rewards and punishments.  That doesn't work for Shane, so he deflects.

Another example, “I was recently asked by a non-Christian friend if I thought he was going to hell. I said, "I hope not. It will be hard to enjoy heaven without you."  Again… that bothers him.  It would bother ANY good person… but he doesn’t know what to do with it, so he makes it a joke.

I talk with Christians all the time who speak like this.  They sidestep Hell, try to make it not sound as bad as the Bible does, throw up their hands and say its not for me to judge, etc.  They are trying to avoid the very real fact that their God presented in scripture has set up a system where you love him or pay dearly.  At least that’s how he is in some parts… other parts not so much.  I don’t believe the bible is consistent.

So what do I think?  I think Shane is a decent human being, trying to be decent, in a religion that is often not decent.  He works hard at finding the diamonds in the rough… focusing on the generous and compassionate parts of his Bible, while choosing – consciously or subconsciously- to avoid the more horrible bits.  I just think that generates a lot of un-needed work and stress.  Let the religion go, continue to be decent, then you won’t have to worry about always having to come up with clever ways to make those bad bits sound good for the sake of fidelity to a religion.

Facebook Faith #49: You Are A Sinner

Recently on Facebook, a Christian was trying to explain to me that, without Christ, I was going to end up in Hell.  She told me that I am a sinner and deserved such treatment from God.

I explained that since I do not believe in Hell or God, I had no such worries.  I also told her that I do not think of myself as a sinner.  She replied with a common witnessing maneuver:

"So have you ever stole anything?? Have you told a lie ?? If yes, what does that make you?? "

I told her that makes me a person who has made a mistake, and a mistake does not a person make. I may have a student who has told a lie, but I would be wrong to therefore cast them forever in my mind as liar. That would simply be damaging. In any case, why would we choose to frame someone according to their mistakes rather than their goodness? Someone fed the poor today, what does that make them? They encouraged someone who was down, what does that make them?

Fortunately, I don't even think Christians who use this argument actually feel that way about their fellow humans. They meet nice kind people, and they recognize them as nice kind people - they don't tend to think '"Hmmmm... at some time in their past, they must have lied... so this kind, niceness must really be a facade!" No, even Christians have the ability to recognize great people regardless of their foibles.

But here is one of the problems with much of Christianity. Their belief system wants to cast every human being in a bad light. In order for the world to NEED Jesus, it has to be full of sin and darkness.  So Christians bend toward seeing humanity and the Earth that way. Christians frame a mistake as a life sentence to place others in need of what they have.

It reminds me of a missionary named Daniel Everett. He worked with an Amazon tribe that had had nearly no outside contact. He found them to be a happy contended people. He realized his job was to convince this happy contented culture that they were actually bad and corrupt.... so he could then offer them Jesus to save them.

Having left the faith, I now see it as creating a lot of co-dependency. Faith needs to keep people weak and needy, and I hear it in the rhetoric of believers every day. Their memes on Facebook declare their unworthiness, powerlessness, and corruption - but thankfully they have God to empower and forgive them. They have been taught to define themselves according to their weaknesses and failures, and they pass those teachings on to others.

I used to think of myself as a sinner, I thought of how often I let God down. I thought wrong behavior was my defining characteristic. However, I discovered it was all contrived. Once out of the faith, I realized... I never "sin". It is massively infrequent that I cause pain or harm to another human being.... in fact, most of my day is spent giving good turns and encouragement to everyone around me.... yet I spent decades believing there was something inherently wrong with me.

No more... my chains are broken and I have run free.

Facebook Faith #47 Bill Burr and Curling

"Non-theists already have a good idea that they are wrong and don't care.... "

I was in a Facebook discussion recently where a believing gentleman said the above quote. It kind of shocked me, because I had never heard a believer really articulate that to a non-believer.

As a believer, I had heard similar things said within our own circles. Whether spoken aloud or not, we all believed that those of outside faiths, or no faith, really - deep down - knew they were wrong. They just clung to their ideas out of arrogance or rebellion. In their pride, they would never admit that we were right. I think that was why the notion of Hell didn't bother us too much. They really were choosing Hell, and in the end we would finally be proven right!

Those thoughts fell apart for me as I began to get to know my Mormon neighbors after moving out to Salt Lake City. Listening to their stories and hearing their hearts, I could not deny that they believed their stories as sincerely as we did ours.

So... if I believe my stories to be true... and they believe their stories to be true... and we both have stories of transformation and redemption occurring in the lives of people... maybe... maybe transformation is not a holy thing... but a human thing...

and... here I am.

This was brought to mind this morning as I watched the comedian Bill Burr, talk about his exit from faith. In his case, he realized thinking the stories of other religions absurd, might apply to his stories as well. I particularly relate to his analogy of how he "let go" of religion.... spot on!

God Likes Me! He Really Liked Me!

I Am Nothing!

I don't have a lot of interaction with Christians. A few have stuck with me on Facebook, and most of my family and extended family are believers, but really, I just don't swim in those waters anymore.

Now that I am out though, things look very different when I get that occasional peek back. One thing that really stands out is the verbal and mental self flagellation.  I listen to friends and family drone on about how unworthy they are, how little they can accomplish, their weakness, their waywardness. Phrase after phrase they apply the lash.

Of course, they do not see it as negative speech, because they top it all off with some confession of Jesus.  I get it.  I used to say similar things and I said them with pride!  My favorite song repeated, "I AM NOTHING!" over and over in the chorus.  From experience I realize that pointing it out to them would be... well, pointless.

Free from such negative self-talk, I can only look on now in pity and wonder.  I no longer think of myself as unworthy, nor do I see others that way.  I would question any deity who desired such things to be uttered from the mouths of his children.

It reminds me of the story of Daniel Everett.  He was a Christian missionary who went to live among a tribal people called the Pirahã.  Everett eventually abandoned his faith as he began to realize he was trying to teach this happy, contended people that they were actually bad and in need of a savior.  He needed to give them a disease, so he could offer them a cure.

My wife and I occasionally get books or sermon cd's from believers.  If we will just listen to this tape, or read that book, all of our "questions" will be answered.  I am polite, but rarely do more than thumb through the pages or give a moments listen.  My wife is much more patient and has been slowly working through one of the latest books.  She told me tonight why the book really doesn't "work".

"The author assumes I am needy, or desperate, or broken.  But I am none of those things.  I am happy... so... that approach doesn't work for me anymore."